Corey and I broke up last week. Then i moved to south carolina. Where I am now.
Right now, I'm feeling really confused. Corey and I got into a huge fight last night because I don't have money to give him for bills.. even if I did, i wouldn't give it to him. He doesn't deserve it. After saying a bunch of mean things to each other, i finally told him his sex sucked. it was lazy. and it was boring. and i tried my hardest to keep it fun, but he never wanted to. Well, now i understand. he came back at me with 'i cheated on you more than once.' when you were at school, i had sex with four people and kissed another one. she wanted to do more but i couldn't.'
I feel like I don't even know him. I feel like i don't know myself for being so stupid and wasting so much time with him. I feel disgusting, because i thought he only slept with three people, not 7. I thought he was someone else.
I can't stop feeling like maybe I'm not as good of a person as i thought i was. I thought i was the kind of girl that guys felt lucky to be with. Like, I genuinely thought that he should be thanking God for the chance to be with me even after all the shit he put me through. But I don't know if he ever liked me at all. I think he was just with me because he didn't want to be alone. I don't know him at all right now. i don't even know if i know myself.
I don't think he realized what a blow to my self-esteem he just caused. Even when i was with Mark, I was never this confused or down on myself. It's not even that I love corey, I'm sure that i do not and i could never waste my time on him or anyone like him again. I just never though anyone would do this to ME. Because i didn't think I deserved this. i mean, who does? But I feel like I've never been treated like a piece of garbage so much in my life. I thought i was better than this.. how could he not? This guy who told me he loved me, wanted to marry me, loved my family, moved in with me...
What kind of fucking joke was this for two and a half years?
What a piece of shit.
I don't understand. |
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sounds like what happened with my ex & i. we lived together & he proposed to me, he seemed to be "the one" but then i found out all his secrets, all the girls he was sleeping with.
I really sorry that happened but love you have to realize HE is the piece of garbage! HE is the one that messed up, HE was the one that was insecure, HE is the one that is wrong! NOT YOU! You did nothing wrong to be down on yourself. People don't cheat because they don't care about the other person, people cheat because they need to feel better about themselves. YOU did nothing wrong. YOU are an AMAZING woman. He doesn't know what he's lost. He never deserved you in the first place!
i know what its like to be cheated on.. its def a blow to your self esteem.. esp when its low to begin with (for me.. not necessarily you)..