Memories
It now has been a month since I've started to see my therapist. I finally made the choice to go and seek the help that I need. I am just hoping that I didn't make a bad choice to bring up the past that has haunted me my entire life. She has me on meds to help with my anxiety and depression along with one to help me sleep. She also recommended a doctor to me. I am so proud of myself because I actually made an appointment with the doctor. I just hope they aren't like the rest of the doctors that I've been to. Or it will just make me stop going again. I am trying to stay positive about it, I don't want to go in there thinking that she will suck.
At one of my last appointments with my therapist we got talking about things in my past that have manifested in my life. My lack of trust with men, my temper, and my want/need to make others happy. We started to talk about my father and how when I was a child it was my job to keep the peace in the house when he was there. I did this to keep my mom safe, I didn't want to make him angry so he would beat her. That subject got me thinking about a day that he came to see me. He never was around much when I was growing up so him coming to see me was HUGE thing. On this trip he wanted to take me on a drive, my mom freaked out. I was like 6 or 7 and didn't realize that he was drunk. But as a little kid I wanted to spend time with my dad and wanted to go, so my mom said the only way that it would happen was if she went also. Well it was a horrible experience. He almost got us killed and all he did was laugh. That memory has haunted me since that day. That day I couldn't stop crying, work wasn't a good day.
So yesterday was Amy's birthday, on Pi day. ^_^ So for her birthday present we got our nipples pierced. I paid for them and omg did they hurt. But we are so happy that we got them done. Sleeping last night was a bit interesting. Though I don't plan on getting anything else pierced below the neck. My ears will be pierced with probably another industrial. With a bunch of other things. Plus while we were at the tattoo parlor yesterday we talked to Josh about getting our star tattoo. We plan to have a the top of our left foot up around our calf tattooed with stars. It will probably be a bit uncomfortable on the top of the foot but it will looks so sweet.
|
Loading...
