I no longer believe I am the person in which I thought I was going to become. I have figured out that a lot of things that I do, end up being counterproductive to the advancement of my own well being. I slept with my best friend, I lied to make it seem like I was justifying my own ambitions. I loved her, I would of done anything for her. Now it seems life moves me in other directions. Ways in which I never thought I would go. Conflicts and emotions drive me to confuse, contradict, and derail my own goals to make it possible to bring hell upon those I love. I don't fancy myself as anyone who is perfect because believe, I am not. You could look up perfect and it would direct you to see the fucked up section with a big picture of me flicking you off. Oh so back to what I was saying, I digress. I also had a shocking realization that people suck! Not sure if anyone else agrees but they do, I know it, I suck right along with the best of them. What kills the most and is something in which I am end in my life is the invention of lying. It has torn, ripped, and shaken whatever foundation I thought I had beneath me. To go from I see as an illusion of control to controlled in minutes is a bitch.
So let me take great pleasure in introducing the new me, I don't know you, I don't know your problems or how many times daddy cheated on mommy. I want ideas, I want ways of bettering myself without killing myself at the same time. That is, what I think, is the goal of life; to fuck it before it fucks you, because it will fuck you, harder then you think, and it wont stay till morning or cuddle with you when you feel alone, it hates you. Yes, this could be a very detrimental way of viewing but hey I'm a realist, I see things and call them how they are. I am sick of the he says, she says, bullshit. If you think I'm bitching and moaning about how sad my life is, then take the mouse, bend over, and slide deep into your ass because like I said, I don't care who you are. This is my journal, I will write about what effects me and how I feel about it, and right now, life and all the pleasantries that go along with it, piss me off. So until the next time kiddies, let your sister's know they left their underwear under the bed, they can claim them when they see me next..oh wait...
Stay classy |
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THAT NEEDED TO BE SAID! Well done my friend.... well done.
very well said