Things are soooo much better. Not quite golden, but getting there I suppose.
Chris is my hero. He borrowed the money from one of his bosses to get my car out of tow. It ended up costing $714.00. He has to work it off now. I can't believe he did that! Honestly, it sounds so materialistic, but in a way it restored my faith in our relationship. It's just that I had been questioning his love for me. I had been feeling like he didn't really give a fuck anymore, but was afraid to say it. But, him being willing to put himself in debt just to help me out...that reminded me that he really does still care.
But THEN...we started fighting again. Honestly, I don't even really know why. It got pretty bad. Wednesday night, Dani took me out. It was my first time really going out since I've been here...b/c I haven't had any friends and Chris and I haven't had any money. Dani is the assistant manager at my job, and I adore her. She and I just click really well and seem to have a lot in common. She has taken me under her San Francisco wing. She drove me around and showed me the Full House house. Haha. We took the underground Muni (my first time) and went to this little bar in the city called "Lucky 13" and we had a couple cans of good ol' PBR. She introduced me to Timm, who I also adore. He is 24, gay, friendly, real, and soooo well-traveled. He has such awesome stories. So, they are my first two friends...aside from Chris and inlaws.
When I got home that night, I was totally ready to get back on track with Chris. I crawled into bed being lovey-dovey and he rolled away from me. We layed there with our backs to each other, not even touching...all night. Throughout the night, we argued. It was pretty bad. He told me he had basically lost hope in our relationship. I woke up Thursday exhausted and got ready for work while he slept. I woke him to tell him I was leaving for work. He said, "I wont be here when you get home. I have a meeting."
I said, "I'll see you when I see you, I guess."
He said, "Whatever Alana," and turned away from me, angrily.
Honestly, I drove to work thinking that I might start packing my shit when I got home. I was upset, and exhausted, and burnt out on fighting. But, on my lunch break, I saw that he wad written "I love you!!" on my facebook right after I left. When I got home from work, there was a note that said, "Hey baby. I hope you had a good day! I miss you. I'll see you in a little bit. I love you this much! [w/ a long-armed stick figure]"
He got home and I was (am) sick. He was sweet and fixed me some dinner, and rubbed my back, and cuddled me while I fell asleep.
I love him to the moon, and I pray that things work for us. |
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