I Think I Was Blind Before I Met You

I'm an incredibly emotional person yes, I cry more than is necessary, that's also true, but I don't cry to music. Just that one song that makes me feel weaker than I already am. It's beautiful, it's perfect, it's the best way to describe everything. I hate the fact that it brings me to tears.

 

I've been writing lately, as somew ay to pour out some of the shit that's been plaguing me. I thought it was going well for a while, I've certainly improved despite rarely ever doing it. Maybe because I recently gave up the World of Warcraft in favor of a few books so I've improved my vocabularium. ( yes ) That's right people, I used to be a WoW addict...four seventies, and two eighties later I finally said screw this...this is boring. WoW is a strange game, it knows how to suck you in, but almost immediately you start to realize...this is just the same thing, over and over again. Even when they put out expansions that change a few minor details of the game, it's always the same thing. And I realize that a lot of video games have that repetition, but WoW always seemed different...I don't blame the people that get addicted to it, but I blame the people the get so addicted they lose sight of the rest of they lives and make it all about the game. That's just sad.

Enough about WoW.

So I started writing this story about self-discovery, about a girl who loses herself to post-traumatic stress and refers to herslef as No One, and these four ghosts of her psyche, four ghosts with dramatized qualities of herself refer to her as No one and show her what it really means to be No one and it's short, but I think in a way it was kind of powerful, and it was well written and I liked it, I thought it was one of my best pieces to date. I asked Derek to read it, to give me his opinion, tell me what I thought, and he refused. He made excuses like, I don't feel like reading, I'm too tired to read, just really bullshit excuses. This morning he just snapped at me about it, and I got upset, naturally. I thought he'd be happy to read it, I've always been more than happy to read anything he wrote, but he wasn't. He just really didn't want to. I'm still not sure how I feel about it.