live.love.laughwell the rest of today went well. after school i went to danielles for a while and then cleaned my car and got a car wash, then i went to my friend ambers house and cut her friend lisa's hair. when i was leaving a guy i used to talk to who lives across the street from amber came home i was talking and by the time i was done he was in the house but he text me and we talked for a few. now im home and its been almost 3 days since ive gotten any sleep so im trying to finish this beer and head to sleep it wont be enough but its better than nothing. i cant wait for tomorrow. i have a class with my fav teacher and i know both of her nephews so we talk a lot and there was a girl in my class who couldnt stand to be around me and my group so she restarted herself well guess what shes in this class im taking hahaha so i can tourture her. i think its funny because its karma she talked shit about me giving my son up for adoption. but she has no idea that i only did it because i was barely 16 when i had him and i would have had to live with my mom who was an abusive drunk and im sorry but im not raising a child in that enviorment i grew up in it and im fucked up because of it so why would i do that to my son? i love him more than life itself and the thought of him has litterally saved my life a couple times so she cant say shit. shes ignorant and shes a bitch so she will get what she deserves im not going to be the one to give it to her but i know she hates even my presence so that will be enough for me. shes not a nice person so karma will deal with her. any ways. so i think i like this mike guy i met yesterday, hes so nice and sweet i want to get to know him more. we are supposed to hang out tomorrow me him danielle and james. hes not the cutest but he is cute. but hes like the total oppiosite of what i normally like so maybe i should see where it goes because i mostly am attracted to dbags. and i think its a good thing that im attracted to him and hes as far as i can tell not a dbag. but who the hell knows i think ill give him my number tomorrow and see what he does with it. he has a daughter and shes so cute. good thing i like kids i dont know any more. so i told the 2 guys i was sleeping with about the miscarrage one didnt say anything and the other keeps apoligizing. todd (the one who is apoligizing) is amazing hes so hot and so nice hes just so damaged that he wont let anyone in. we have been close for a few years now but things are kinda falling apart right now. and i hate it. he was there for me when i was in prison and i was there for him when his baby was killed. sometimes i think we are only good when there is crisis and thats not a relationship i want to have even though im madly in love with him, not that he knows that and not that i want him to, because it would just make things akward. i miss my friends i feel like im losing all of them. anyways time for bed
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