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Learn to love yourself
by raen

previous entry: Rocky Horror Picture Show: The Aftermath

next entry: Cohabitation

My Grandma

11/15/2018

Four years ago this morning, my grandma passed away. I never thought this day would still bring me sadness. I keep waiting for it to no longer hurt as much. Everything at work today was surrounded in an aura of melancholia. And today apparently was another day where one of my coworkers hid my water bottle. This person does this once a week, and must think it's a hilarious joke. And normally it's a minor inconvenience for me. Today, though, I was so upset I wanted to cry. It was nowhere to be found. I ended up having to buy a bottle of water, and then I just hid in my office for a while. Apparently, she thinks it's a great time to just troll me. It's just irritating and really inconsiderate even if she isn't being malicious.

 

A customer had to come to me to get something fixed and the first thing out of her mouth was "What's wrong with you?" And my face was the expression it usually is. That said, my resting face is extreme RBF. I told her it was just my face. When she realized she had mistepped she started being more polite to me.

 

I'm tired. 

previous entry: Rocky Horror Picture Show: The Aftermath

next entry: Cohabitation

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I don't think it ever stops hurting as much. My dad died 11 years ago and I still can't touch my flute because playing music together was our thing. My foster mother has been gone since 1995 and I still get misty when I see a cardinal.

My days tend to blend together for me so I don't always realize what day it is right away. Then it will hit me like a punch to the gut.

You know, for the longest time I would make excuses for my RBF. I would say, "Oh I'm just tired" or something. Then I realized, I shouldn't have to apologize for my face. Now if someone says, "Oh is something wrong?" I just very cheerfully say, "Nope, I'm just ugly!"

Watching them fumble is hilarious.

I hope you got some rest.

[Villy|0 likes] [|reply]

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