I feel like my heart is being split in two. Chris suffers from depression. I'm the only one he has ever told (this includes his family). And it is has been bad for him lately. At first, I thought he was just going through a rough patch, and the strain of Covid was getting him particularly hard. But while that was in part the issue for him, he's also discovered feelings for a coworker. And at first, he didn't say anything to me. He just moped around the house feeling guilty and depressed and let me think he was just depressed. Not to belittle depression, but I really just thought that was it. I suggested he talk to our family doctor about getting a referral to a therapist, but he kept saying no. And then out of the blue one night he tells me about this coworker. The worst part? I immediately knew who it was. She had been interested in him before we started dating, but he wasn't interested. And then we became a thing and we both figured it was gone and not an issue. And now this.
I try not to let it show how much it hurts because he's beating himself up over it a lot. But last night he told me that Monday night she blew up at him. And this is when it came out that he had told her his feelings, and she told him to go fuck himself and that he just wanted her but didn't love her. Yesterday he told me that it felt like he had been dumped. What am I supposed to do with that? We're supposed to be getting married. And he keeps asking me what to do. I don't know what to do. I suggested he ask for a transfer to a different location because it's clearly causing him pain and making him uncomfortable. He said maybe. He told me he signed up for counselling through his work, though. Which is good I guess. But I have to work at 2pm and I spent the entirety of my shower crying. I'm so hurt. I love him so much, but I hurt so much.
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