Thanksgiving

Like that time I introduced my last boyfriend to her and she later sent me a two word text that said "He's nice." And then no other opinions were forthcoming. Of course, after the end of that relationship, she randomly decided to be a mother and sent me purple roses. Which, I admit, was quite nice of her. And she kept her opinions about the situation to herself.  I am mostly chalking this up to the fact that she was still reeling from the death of her mother (my grandmother was an amazing woman, no one would dislike her), and could only be nice during said time. But then she decided to hide from everyone when the grief became too much. She actually pretended her phone was having troubles for a year and a half. In that time, my sister got pregnant and had a son. My mom didn't express even an iota of interest in knowning anything about this. Other than wanting to visit my sister, I then decided she didn't need to be alone in giving birth, so I flew to BC to visit for two weeks. Liam just happened to be born during that visit. Chris, and Kaitlin, and hell, even a coworker expressed more interest than my mom did.

Then, a few months ago, my mom called me. She picked the most likely of her children to answer the phone. She has four, and of the four of us, I think our relationship is the least fractured. That's not to say it isn't super wrecked. It is. A lot of unfortunate things happened that she knew about and did nothing about. That's for another tale. She called, and told me that she hasn't been having phone troubles, and that she wasn't just ignoring everyone. She was going through a really hard time, accepting that she no longer had her parents, or her sister, and that she had been depressed. I gave her the names of a few places with sliding scales that help with counselling. Because, I've been there. Not necessarily for the same reasons, but I know what it's like to feel the suffocation of depression. The worst part is the hopelessness. And just because our relationship is terrible, doesn't mean I don't love her and want her to be the best she can be. She took my advice. And our communication has gotten better. 

She wont be able to mend the break between her and my oldest sibling, Shawn. That bridge is burned completely. I don't know what happened between them for it to be so concrete, but there it is. She seems fine with Jeremy, and Amie is vague about it, but apparently they talk on the phone from time to time. That's all I know. My family isn't one for being perpetually in contact. There's no hate, just we're all just a bunch of introverts and lose track of time. MY mom is the most social of us, I think. Who knows where the introversion came from. My dad maybe? I never knew him, so I have no clue. I just got his colouring. #redheadedstepchildjokes 

I feel a little better than yesterday. The headache is mostly gone, so I'm stuck with the congestion and the exhaustion. Being exhausted isn't new to me, though. I've basically been exhausted for most of my teen and adult years so far. Such is life. At least now the exhaustion is mostly due to my medication. And currently my cold, but not lack of sleep. Hurrah!

Anyway, happy thankskgiving. Even if you're not Canadian.