The Thing About Introverts

That said, I'm an introvert. Sometimes, in large groups, I spend more time listening and less time talking. And it isn't because I'm uncomfortable; it's because I just really enjoy listening. I also have zero concept of small talk. It's always a mystery to me as to how people can just naturally know how to talk about nothing with people. I always dive into the meatier topics, or not at all. I can't say that this is a bad thing to me either. It just means that if you want to talk to me, I'm not going to have any patience with fluff. If you want to have a conversation about the latest book you saw, and go into it, I am game. I will also talk about a particular movie at length. I won't just say "Oh I saw _____ this weekend. It was good." I'll tell you what I thought about the plot, the casting, the setting, etc. And I'm not the only one like that. I've noticed a trend. A lot of introverts I know are similar; they spend so much time inside their own heads, that they would prefer to have in depth conversations than light and fluffy ones. 

Too much social time can be exhausting. While we enjoy a night out here and there, we don't recharge our batteries this way. We need to be alone with ourselves in order to get back to our usual, cheerful selves. We can get overstimulated at times, and the only way to get back to normal is to just be on our own, enjoying our hobbies, and our quiet. And while not all of us are like this, a lot of our hobbies are usually solitary ones. I am a bibliophile. The collection of books I have will continue to grow each month. I will read my books over and over again until they fall apart, I also, like to write short stories. These activities are relaxing, and allow me to decompress. If we don't get downtime, we can become moody, exhausted, and sometimes sick. 

My other half is also an introvert. Sometimes we can be in the same room and not talk for extended periods of times. We can be sitting on the couch, each with a book, just enjoying the quiet and each others company without expectation to entertain. We both work with the public, and quiet time is precious. We can share it, luckily. 

Shyness is often misconstrued as introversion. A friend of mine is shy and is not an introvert. She loves going out and doing things where a lot of people are. She just has a hard time just introducing herself to people. Another friend of mine is extremely introverted and also extremely shy. Even the smallest amount of being out with people is stressful and exhausting for her. 

I'm in a happy medium: I like going out and doing things, but I usually need a day or two to unwind and just relax. Some people need longer, some people need less. But remember that if we go radio silent for a day or so, it isn't because we're mad at you. We've just hit our social maximum and need to take a step back. I've sometimes made plans with people and then had to change them because of it. It's usually because of a heavy day of talking and socializing at work. If your friends are awesome, they'll understand. Mine do.

I decided to write this because a coworker asked me how I could be so outgoing but need to be alone sometimes to recharge. I had to tell them that just because I'm outgoing, doesn't mean I charge my batteries that way. Their mind was blown.