I'm sitting in my moms den. I can hear Mark (step dad) dithering around in the kitchen before he heads out to work again. I've just finished work and this is my temporary home. When I hear the phrase "taking a break" I envision Ross and Rachel. It's not appealing to me. But here I am, not at home. We're on a break. Whatever that means. It's lonely, and I have cried way too much in the last few days. So far, I'm doing well. It's just after five in the evening and no tears yet. The trial will be when I go to bed. Last night really sucked. It was the first night of a few weeks. I love my mom, but I hate this. Chris thinks we need this. And I guess we do. I don't really agree. But he's worried that part of the problem is actually him and he needs the time to figure it out. And I need to patient. Fuck. I just want to go home.
Today at work sucked too. One of my cashiers called in sick and then the other one has a son who is having some sort of meltdown so she was having a meltdown too. I had to send her home. It was me and no cashiers. I got nothing done. Meanwhile, I wanted to be anywhere but at work. I got through it. Now I have to get through this weekend. Alone. Kaitlin's grandmother just died, so I don't want to add to that. Rachel is in a new relationship, so I don't want to be NEAR that, and Kai lives in Toronto. That's essentially it for me right now. I'm exhausted and I'll probably just drown myself in Netflix.
I'm sad; my heart aches.
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