i never want to go back to college
yesterday i woke up around 1:30 pm and looked over at sarah who was on my floor with 2 blankets covering her entire head. i could still hear her snores through them. i tried not to laugh, got up, shut my window (my room is a boiler, trust), turned off the fan and made my way downstairs.
once she woke up, we watched football with the guys then decided uniracers should be tried out to see if it works. oh and DID IT WORK.
we spent the next 3 hours or so battling each other until our thumbs felt like they were going to fall off. it came down to my overall winnings of 49 and hers of 48 and i finally said, "okay first to 50 wins, my thumb is dying". she agreed.
the entire 3 hours sarah and i had been yelling profanity at each other. she sounded like Unforgivable yelling, "Whipeout WHORE!" "Go back to your home on WHORE ISLAND!" and stuff like that.
i was just simply screaming at the nintendo system.
anyways, it was 49 to 48 and the next race was pretty long. sarah was just relieved it wasn't a stunt round cause i either lose by just a little or more than double her score. the race was close, as they all were.
we were approaching the finish line and sarah was jumping and spinning and twirling like crazy to go faster, and i was steadily trying to maintain 1st place. she was picking up speed and then as soon as i thought she had a lead the race was over.
we both didn't know who won so when we saw DRAW in big red and blue letters we went "awh man" and sarah went "wait... does that give you the 50th point?"
and it did.
competition OVER!
:]
april came over as soon as we had just completed our uniracers fiasco. sarah and i were both sweaty and had dilated pupils, but april didn't seem to realize the seriousness of our competitive game we had just completed.
we watched some show called the universe and sarah talked about her theories of the japanese taking over and that they made up the idea of planets and shit to fuck with us. it was about 8 pm when that show went off and sarah said she was going to walk home. she was about to get up when a hitler special came on.
nuff said.
we watched that and talked about what hitler would be like if he spoke another language. april suggest french, i suggested japanese, emily suggested spanish and sarah just starred at emily and said, "well then no one would have listened to him, would they?"
golden.
then crystal came over and told us she had never seen the dark knight. so we watched that with some uhhh "sarah commentary" that i guess april did not approve of. april hardly ever swears, but when she does you KNOW she means it. like the one time i first heard her use the f-word at the new years party last year.... dave and the crazy old man were bickering in the dining room right by where we were sleeping for HOURS. then dave was like "how bout this.." then the old man went "oh no no no no HOW BOUT THIS..." and then april lifted her head off her pillow and screamed, "how bout you shut the fuck up and go to bed!"
sarah kept trying to get us to focus on heath ledgers forearms and the perfection about them. then emily realized that his forearms are the thickest part of his body; funny and true.
once the movie was over april convinced sarah she'd drive her home and they wanted me to go along but i was in pajamas. so i changed my mind last minute, grabbed my coat, and put on my mom's dorky slippers.
i got into the back seat and sarah informed me that april wanted mcdonalds and that we were going there first cause sarah asked if she could have dibs on fries too (stupid vegetarians :D).
so we arrive at mcdonalds then APRIL tells me that her window does not roll down
-_-
nothing but DRIVE THRUS are going to be open! ughhhh.
we go to THAT mcdonalds which is locked, we got to the BK in town which is locked and pry closed down too, then we drive to the BK near great northern where i try to fix the window, then we go to KFC where she actually opens her door to tell them the situation and the lady goes 'hi ma'am can i take you order?' and as soon as april give the order the lights gof off and the woman stops talking, then we went to mcdonalds, CLOSED.
then we drove all the way back to the 50's mcdonalds (the one we started with 30 minutes ago) and decided that sarah was going to get out of the car and talk into the speaker for us.
and as soon as she got out she said, "THERE'S SOMEONE BEHIND US! OH NO!" and i look and it's rob & matt. i try to get their attention at first then give up so i can laugh hysterically at sarah.
she gets the order then i see rob getting out of his car to go to my window and i cant roll it down since none of them do and im yelling OUR WINDOWS DON'T GO DOWN!
then sarah gives the lady a 20 at the next window, we sure got a funny look....
then sarah broke out a cigarette from all the burger craving stress and rob asked for one too. then rob talked to me when i opened my door... and i told him that parker was home and he should go visit him. matt and him both.
so it was on, we had to get out food and leave cause rob yelled, "WE'LL BEAT YOU THERE!" like a 6 year old and me, like the 12 year old boy i am thought it was a challenge.
we wouldn't let sarah back into the car until she finished her cigarette and we saw they had a lead, so once april pulled out... it was a wild & crazy ride. holllly shit.
that car can handle a turn. bahaha.
we ended up beating the boys and when i got downstairs to tell emily and parker the story i was startled, STARTLED to see that 2 boxes of fries were upside down in my hallway and spread all over the floor... after all of that hard work.
i got a bowl and helped her put them in it and instead of throwing them out i just placed them on the table cause i got distracted.
april and i ate our burgers and the little bit of fries that survived. sarah ate some of her fries and we migrated into the living room to tell them about our story. sarah went back into the kitchen and i heard her yell, "hey! is anyone going to eat these fries in the bowl?" and i looked at april and said, "do you want those fries?" with the biggest smirk on my face. she was smiling too and said, "noooooope". and i winked (i hardly EVER wink so this was an EVENT) and said, "they're all yours sarah."
we did not let out one single laugh. and it was a HUGE bowl, let me tell you. so i had to be patient to not give it away.
10 minutes later and she was about half done and i turned to parker and said, "i have a hilarious story to tell you... in about 10 minutes" and hes like "whyyyy" and sarah hears him and joins in. why did i have to say anything in the first place?
so about 3 minutes later, with sarah asking questions like:
"who is it about?"
"is it about me?"
"is it something i did?"
"is it recent?"
"why do we have to wait 10 minutes?"
"did i do it tonight?"
"COME ON TELL US!"
so i laughed and looked at the handful or so of fries left and she went, "is it about the fries?" i nodded "i knew it.. were these the ones that fell on the floor?... damnit. whatever, im full anyways".
hahahahaha.
then we started to drink and we watched Leprachaun 5, Leprachaun in the Hood... half of it at least.
and spent 2 hours or so MINGLING with ppl in the kitchen and writing post its on ppls foreheads and trying to get them to guess the words.
the best was aprils. i said, "your favorite hobby" she said, "oral?"
it WAS blow job but... still. hilariouuuuussss.
then the three of us migrated upstairs to play uniracers where i beat sarah 10-9 this time :D then i sorta passed out with the two of them around 4 or so.
epic night, epic people, epic laughs, epic times.
this is so much better than college, trust.
immortalized artiste & cherry seven extras
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