it would be the end of me

after the countless hours i've studied.
the nights i've stayed up.
the tears that have fallen down my face.

i wake up to a missed call.
i call the house 4 times.
no answer.
this is unusual on many many levels
for one, my mom and dad work at home, in the daycare.
and my sister is usually home on mondays to help

finally emily answers and tells me my moms on a rampage and its not a good time to talk to her.

i thank her for warning me, yet wonder WTF all damn day.

four hours later
"parker is failing one of his classes..."
parker is my brother, hes doing an extra semester to up his gpa...
"...so he can't graduate this winter..."
"... and he got a DWI at 11 AM this morning"

wait WHAT
my mom just got done paying off two crashed cars...
just got done paying off the state and lawyers on her ass about daycare regulations...
she dug herself out of being $20,000 or so in debt
last week she told me she bought park a ps3
she was finally out of debt
this was going to be a good christmas

this
was
going
to be a good
christmas

lawyer fees are going to be at least $7,000

apparently he had 10 beers, went to bed at 1 AM
drove to class at 11 AM
THOUGHT he was just hungover
got in a fenderbender
no damage
lady calls cops
they think hes on CRACK?!
destroy his car, searching for it.
find nothing.
interrogate his friends who pick him up
put him in a prison cell and cuff him to a chair for hours.

unbelievable
and he wasn't allowed a single call until 3pm
when he told him he was never arrested they said, "bull shit, you've been arrested 4x" no, hes had four SPEEDING TICKETS
wtf.
so they talked to him like he was trash.
broke him down.

let me tell you.
ive seen my own father cry once in my entire life.
i have NEVER seen parker cry.
or HEARD of someone seeing this sight.
but he was hysterical.

jesus

then he tells me he'd rather be dead than have to live through this
to have to depend on my parent's money

then i sit in 4.5 hours of classes, freaking out.

hes drinking now.
not answering anyone.
and im freaked i might lose him.

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