I got to talk to my boy yesterday. I'm so happy I'm going to my moms this weekend I get to see my mommy my sister my step dad and my aunt DeeDee! & Q maybe.  Im sort of hyper. More excited that tomorrow is thursday. It needs to hurry up and by friday. Im so sick of of all the stupid F'n people here at school and at home. Teachers make people miserable and then the miserable people piss me off and then me fighting Rae doesn't help anything. I don't like becoming a monster i have to be in order to survive. The pain i feel afterwards though is terrible, i cry, i try not to scream out loud, but inside my head is an opera of screams, even in my sleep i dream of how screwed up my life is. I write down the thoughts burying themselves deep in the dark hollows of my skull, in the dark places that used to hold memories and what used to be affection. All i know now is the persistent whispering of an easy way out. I don't know how to explain this demonic voice telling me to go ahead and finish what I'm already doing to myself. Maybe next time i hear its call ill do just what it asks.
Faithfully the body you're trapped in,
Dez |
Loading...
