Ollie and some memories

10/27/2010

Well we were woke up again last night with Ollie barking and crying. This has been going on too long. Ollie is 16 and he gets around really good for his age. He is a little slow going up and down the stairs but so am I and that is to be expected at his age.

My ex husband brought Ollie to me as a peace offering after he had been out drunk all day. We were supposed to go to a party that night and a friend had come by that morning and asked him for some help with his well pump. He promised me he would come home sober by noon. About 6pm he showed up drunk in his coveralls and with a tiny puppy in an inside pocket. "Don't be mad I brought you a surprise" and what a surprise it was. Here was this tiny puppy that barely had his eyes open. I had to feed him with an eyedropper. He was too young to be taken from his mother but here he was.

Well of course I fell in love with him right away and we have been together ever since. For several years I was single after I got rid of the drunk. It was the boys, me and Ollie. But ever since he was little he always had trouble with his butt area itching in the spring and fall. I had taken him 2x a year to the vet and he always gave me some pills that seemed to help and it made Ollie so thirsty. But this spring I had to get a new vet here. So I took all 3 into the little town 20 mi west of us to the vet there. I got their shots and the vet was impressed that Ollie got around so good for his age. He also examined him and told me that his anal glands needed to be expressed. Never heard of that before, so he did it and good golly did it stink!!! You wouldn't believe what came out of there. But what a relief for him. It helped right away. I was pretty pissed that the vet I had back home, the one that Ollie went to all his life and did his neutering never tried to help him.

So the $$$ flow has been tight here. I told B when he got home from work yesterday that I didn't care if we had to eat mac and cheese for a week, I was taking him to the vet. He agreed and gave me a hundred dollar bill before he left this morning. I called for the appointment right away. He goes in at 4:50, I can't wait. I hate it when anything, man, woman, child or beast is in pain or miserable. Ollie also has 2 large lumps under his skin that have slowly gotten bigger over the years. The vet told me that as long as they don't hinder him walking and getting in the way, they were OK but to be watched. It scares the hell out of me. B jokes that when something happens to Ollie that he will probably have to put me in the nut ward for a few days. Ummmm, maybe. I can't imagine life without him. He has been there thru all of my trials and tribulations. Every time I take him to the vet I get myself worked up that maybe he is going to tell me that he needs to be put down. I certainly don't want him to suffer but the selfish side of me says NO!!! I can't lose him. I know it is coming, he is an ancient dog and they don't live forever, I know that but still I just can't imagine......

I lost my mom March 06,06. We were very close and did alot of things together. Her death was sudden and I was there with her when died. I begged, screamed and cried for her not to go. Mom didn't like going to doctors. She never complained about being sick. So one day I was at work and I just had this overwhelming feeling that something was wrong with mom. I called my brother and asked him to go check on mom. He said that he also had an uneasy feeling. That really freaked me out. Soon he called me back and said mom wanted to go to the doc, she wasn't feeling good. WOW that didn't sound like the mom I knew.

This is a tiny little woman who fell in the parking lot of the grocery store, got up, loaded her car with her stuff, drove home and realized that she couldn't walk, she knew she broke her leg but she got out of that car and crawled to the door with her bag of cold groceries and got in the house put them away and called me. I made her go to the ER and they set her leg and put a cast on.
She complained about that cast from the moment it was put on. One day about 3 weeks later I went over to her house and the cast was off. She cut it off with a dremel. I was shocked and told her I was taking her back for another. She flatly refused, used a cane for awhile and she healed just fine.

So this time when she wanted to go for medical help I was scared. Turns out she had congestive heart failure and was gone in 2 days. Just like that, out of the clear blue. I was destroyed. And then there was the house and her dog Hairyhead. I went and got Hairyhead and took her home. We got her important papers and took care of her business, I was on auto pilot. But when it came to the house I was overwhelmed and didn't know what to do. It was the house we grew up in. A huge old brick house with all the childhood memories still stuffed with Mom's things. It sat for 3 months till we finally couldn't afford to pay the bills there and our own. So our long time neighbors son decided he wanted to buy the house and we sold it right away. I still drive by everytime I am in the area. It is an odd feeling knowing that it now belongs to someone else. There is the big oak tree that I used to climb. The front porch where I had the lemonade stand. The flowers I helped Mom plant are still coming up in the flower bed. Just inside the front door is the big sweeping staircase that I came down in my prom dress. Upstairs is the room I grew up in with its big bay window overlooking the back yard. The same room as a little girl I dreamed of growing up and having my own children, the same room that I dreamed of being a famous singer, and kissed my first boy.

Wow I didn't expect all this to come out but there it is.