A Real Entry

07/18/2010

Grr



I had most of this entry typed up and then I hit a wrong button and deleted it all and couldn't get it back. How Effing Irritating.

So, I'm on a hell of a manic swing right now, yay right? No. Usually I'm lucky enough my swings pass in a matter of a couple hours. I've gone two nights now, and all yesterday and so far today one. And I feel half crazy because of it. I don't know what to do about it besides just ride it through til it's over. What joys.

I don't know what to do with my oldest. I swear the child is almost uncontrollable. He's got zero regard for any rules, any people...anything. There is nothing I can do to get him to stop, and I'm ready to pull my hair out. Even hoovering over his shoulder doesn't help, he straight up does NOT care about getting into trouble. And frankly with two younger siblings, I really can't hoover either. I don't know what to do and it makes me feel like the worlds worst Mom. If I can't control him now, what makes me think I'm going to be able to control any of them when they're older? Ugh just fucking shoot me now someone. I am going to fuck this all up.

Space filler



Love

1. Do you believe that everyone has a soul mate?
I do.

2. Are you in love right now?
Yes

3. Are you in a relationship?
Yes

4. What are the 5 things your boyfriend/girlfriend needs to have for you to fall in love with them?
Honesty, Respect, Compassion, Humor, and Patience.

5. Complete the sentence: A good relationship needs to have...?
Respect.

6. What's the farthest you've gone in a relationship? What about with someone you weren't going out with?
Anything you can think of.

7. What is one thing over the past few years that you've learned about love?
It doesn't have to hurt.

8. Do you consider yourself to be more of a flirt or a serious relationships kind of girl?
Definetely both. I fit either role very well.

9. If your boyfriend was cheating on you, would you dump him or give him a second chance?
It depends..I've done both.

10. What song reflects your love life at the moment?
The First Day Of My Life - Bright Eyes.

Friendship

11. Do you have one, true best friend that you value above the rest?
Yes

12. Do your friends come before other important things, like family?
No. There are friends that I do consider family though.

13. If a friend did something to really hurt you, would you forgive her, or what else would you do?
It depends on the situation.

14. Do your friends come to you for advice or do you go to them?
They come to me

15. Do you feel like you have to impress your friends or can you just be yourself around them?
I'm just me, with anyone.

16. How often do you hang out with your group of friends?
Rarely.

17. Be honest: do you think you will still be good friends with them in 10 years?
Some yes, some no.

18. Can you talk to your friends about anything?
Some

19. Are you and your friends completely different or more or less the same?
We're pretty different.

20. Are you thankful you have such great friends?
OMG, yes!!!

School

21. Are you on your teachers good side? Why or why not? Not in school

22. Do you do well in school? Not in school..But I was a horrible student..

23. Have you recieved any awards at school? Not in school....but no, I didn't.

24. Has this year been a pretty good year for you so far? Not in school

25. What's the best thing that's happened so far in the school year? Not in school

26. What is the worst thing? Not in school.

27. Do you actually like coming to school? Why or why not? Not in school...but I hated it. Looking forward to going back though.

28. Are you friends with most of the people at your school? Not in school...but no, I wasn't.

29. I know you'll probably hate this question, but what dumb high school stereotype are you labelled under? Not in school...But I was definetely a freak, stoner.

30. If you could change one thing about your school, what would it be? Not in school

Family

31. Does family come first for you?Without fail.

32. Do you dislike any of your family members? If so, which ones and why? My Adoptive father and my Mother's brother. Both for personal reasons.

33. Who are your family? List them here and make sure to say their relation to you (sister, brother, etc)?
Alex - Son
Gabby - Daughter
Jude - Son
Teresa - Mom
AJ - Brother
Stephanie - Sister

34. Who is your favorite family member? My kids.

35. Have you lost anyone in your family? Yes

36. Do you see your family often? Somewhat

37. Do you look more like your mom or dad? I'm a pretty good blend of both.

38. Are you adopted? My stepfather adopted me but, we do not have a relationship.

39. Are you the youngest, oldest, middle or only child in the family? Mom's oldest, Dad's baby.

40. What about the bad things? huh??

Religion

41. Do you believe in God? Yes

42. Do you go to church regularly? No

43. What holidays do you celebrate? Pretty much all of em.

44. Do you have a copy of the bible in your house? If so, have you read it? Yes, and I've read a lot of it.

45. Are you very religious? Not religious, but spiritual.

46. What is your religion?Christian.

47. Do you believe in things such as miracles, or the things that have happened according to the Bible? Yes. Without question.

48. Do you pray before you go to bed? If so, what or who do you pray for? More intermittantly through the day.

49. Do you wear a cross or any sort of religious item to show your religion? I wear a silver and turquoise cross.

50. Overall, are you happy with your religion, and do you believe in it?Yes.

Sex

(Non-Virgins) 51. Are you comfortable talking about your sex experiences with other people? Very

52. How old were you the first time that you had sex? Consensually, I was 14.

53. Did you think it was special? Why or why not? Yeah. It was peculiar. I was already a Mother.

54. Do you have casual sex, or do crazy sexual things like threesomes, one night stands, or use sex toys, or do you just do it normally? I've tamed it down a lot in my "old age" and I think my days of crazy sexual behavior are out the window for the time being. However, I do like toys when I'm solo lol I have definetely had (more then) my share of casual sex, threesomes, one nighters etc.

55. What kind of protection do you use when you have sex? I've got an IUD

(Virgins) 56. What is your reason for not having sex?

57. Do you think having sex before marriage is a sin?

58. Do you think you're going to have sex anytime soon?

59. Do you have someone in mind, like a boyfriend or girlfriend, that you'd want to do it with?

60. Are you scared to have it? Why or why not?

Music

61. How many songs do you have on your iTunes?
I don't have a single song on this computer.

62. Do you enjoy listening to music? How often do you listen to it?
I listen to it constantly. Right now, I am listening to "S.E.X."

63. What sort of music do you like to listen to?
Rock mainly.

64. List at least five of your favorite bands at the moment:
Oh wow. Ummm...Probably
The Sex Pistols (An all time fave)
Bright Eyes
Avenged Sevenfold
Dead Kennedys
The Beatles

65. List at least five of your favorite songs at the moment:
Hey Jude - The Beatles
First Day Of My Life - Bright Eyes
Smile - Uncle Kracker
I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Death Cab for Cutie
Omega - Stone Sour

66. How do you listen to your music?
Any way I can get it!

67. Is there a song that you feel sums up your life right now?
Bright Eyes - First Day Of My Life

68. What songs make you cry?
A Few

69. What songs make you happy?
A few

70. If you started a band, who would be your inspiration?
Hmm....

Movies

71. What is your all time black and white movie, and why?
Breakfast at Tiffanys.

72. Do you like watching the Disney classics? Which one do you like the best?
Cinderella.

73. If you could live out any movie, what would it be?
Cinderella? lol

74. Could you picture yourself having an acting career later on in life?
I do a little bit of it now.

75. If you could steal the talent from any actor or actress, who would it be?
Audrey Hepburn.

76. If you could have any male actor all to yourself, who would you take?
Ummm. Hell, I dunno?

77. Are there any movies you could watch over and over and never get sick of? Which ones?
I dunno

78. What is your favorite made-for-TV movie?
I feel like I have one, but I can't think right now.

79. Do you prefer movies over music or television?
No. Music is my weakness

80. Do you have a lot of DVDs at home? About how many do you have?
Not many. Usually watch Netflix.

Appearance

81. What colour hair do you have?
Right now it's chocolatey brown.

82. What color are your eyes?
Green

83. Do you have tanned skin or really pale, white skin?
Very pale

84. What is your background? What does your background make you look like?
I'm Cherokee & mixed European.

85. Where do you normally buy your clothes?
Wherever I find something I like

86. What is your hieght and weight? Are you happy with this?
4'11" and I don't own a scale. I'm ok with how I look, but I could definetely improve.

87. Do you wear a lot of makeup? What's in your makeup bag?
In my go-to bag, I've got three eyeshadow pallates I wear (one in neutrals, one in purples, one in black and greys), powder, eyeliner (black and purple) and mascara (black and purple). I have a lot more stuff in another bag.

88. What part of your body do people compliment you on the most?
My eyes or my chest.

89. Do you think you are attractive?
I've modelled long enough I know I'm pretty.

90. What would you want to change about yourself, if anything?
My stomach.

Food

91. How often do you eat in a day?
Once usually

92. Do you think you eat too much food, and if so do you want to go on a diet?
I am on a constant diet.

93. What is your favorite thing to have for breakfast?
Probably doughnuts unfortunately.

94. What is your favorite thing for lunch?
Salad with grilled chicken

95. What about dinner?
Salad with grilled chicken.

96. Do you ever dine at restaurants for dinner? Which ones?
From time to time whatever sounds good

97. Are you a vegetarian? Would you ever become one if you're not?
No, but I used to be. I couldn't sustain my iron well enough though.

98. What food is your guilty pleasure (something you know is bad, but you can't get enough of)?
Sugary ones. Mmm

99. Are there any foods you like but no one else likes them? Which ones?
Fried Pickles.

100. Do you think about food often?
No.