Been awhile...
I'm a bad blooper, that much is true and unquestionable.
Things have been chaotic. To put it mildly. I'm going to break things down by person...I think Jude is the only one who hasn't had 03984023092384098 things going on.
Gabby
Gabby's been in CMH twice since my last update. She was there from March 24, until Easter, in which time we had a crazy round of testing because of her seizures, two scope procedures that diagnosed her with Eosinophilic Gastroenteritis, a quarter of her kidney removed (she has one big one instead of two small ones), and a g-tube placed. The g-tube has made such a big difference, I wish in retrospect that we had done it sooner. We were up there again about a month ago due to apnea spells. She's been randomly quitting breathing periodically with cyanosis. The doctors seem to have decided it's a behavioral issue at this point, but I must say I am not sold on this diagnosis. It just doesn't seem like Gabby - she screams and yells when she's mad, not holds her breath. That, and most of the spells seem to happen when she's totally happy and playing. I'm so frustrated by everything, and I'm out of doctors to talk to about it. We're dealing with another tummy flare up now, and ohhh I'm ready to just start bawling thinking about it.
Alex
Alex is now a kindergartener!!!! Crazy, huh?! He started school August 16th, and is totally loving it. Dealing with a custody dispute with his father now, joy of joys. It's like living my worst nightmare, to be quite honest. Trying to shield Alex from the worst of it, trying my damnedest, and it seems to be working, at least thus far. We have more court dates ahead of us, hoping that soon it'll all be settled. In the mean time, I have a PFA in effect against him protecting both Alex and I, as he was threatening to show up at the school and kidnap him since I wouldn't let him take Alex back where he lives because of A)school, Alex neeeds to be there! and B) last time I did, back in June, Alex came back telling me how scary it is to ride in the front seat. When there's a perfectly good backseat available, there is NO excuse to endanger the then 5 year old by putting him in the front. No excuse.
Jude
Jude has the most low key life of all of us. He's sick for the first time ever now, he's got a cold. Poor love just insisted on sharing, so we're laying around on the couch together. Yay...
Me
I just had another miscarriage...it started a week ago today. We weren't trying, I actually had an IUD in to prevent, but it had gotten dislodged. I had it removed on a Friday, and the miscarriage started Monday afternoon. Trying not to beat myself up about it too terribly much...about 2 weeks prior, I had attempted suicide via overdose, so there's really no telling what the meds, alll class c&d, would have done to the baby. I honestly could not cope with another special needs chlld....I'd say and keep my sanity but that's already well gone. I've been seeing a psychiatrist for awhile now and he's diagnosed me with PTSD and DID, and I take 4 meds daily and a shot every two weeks....but honestly, I felt better before beginning treatment, as it is now I just feel like a medicated zombie who lacks coping skills. I think I am going to switch doctors to a differant clinic, cause shoving meds at me isn't going to help this long term. I am supposed to be getting ready for inpatient treatment now....about a week, is the doctors guess. I haven't even for sure found a sitter yet though, and I'm supposed to be ready to check in tomorrow. Uhoh.
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