Can't Sleep
So, yeah, insomnia sucks. A lot.
It is Five in the Fucking morning.
And I am awake.
And my kids get up around 6:30, so, really, what's the point now?
*grump!!*
Yesterday was a good day. Kids were pretty well behaved, got quite a bit done....Found out why the jewlery I ordered isn't here yet. My effing cute boyfriend called me when he knew I was tied up...which was mildly irritating til I listened to the voicemail, a song (lyrics at the bottom of the entry). He's such a damn doll. Funny how tough he thinks he tries to be. Silly boy. haha. Fucking love him.
Lots to do this week. The shipments should be coming in to get us ready for the Tev-Tropin and once I have all three packages, I call the home nurse and she will come teach me how to do the shots. Nervous. Eek. I'm really dreading this..the closer it gets the more it scares me. I keep wondering if it's too late to change my mind. I know changing my mind really isn't an option, this is something that she NEEDS, but god. I'm terrified. Everyone, since I was pregnant with her, has told me constantly, that God only gives you what you can handle. But I can't help but wonder if he is seriously over estimating my abilities here. It's...I feel like I'm drowning. On a daily basis.
I miss my Dad...I always miss my Dad, but lately, it's felt a lot sharper. I think it's because of what a great relationship that Kyle and his Dad have, and he just told his family that, yanno, we're getting pretty serious...they knew he was seeing someone, didn't know details....He told me when we first started dating that he wouldn't introduce his parents to someone he couldn't see himself settling down with, due to previous circumstances, and he made a comment the other day about taking me home with him for either Thanksgiving or Christmas. He's made a couple marriage comments recently. Guess he's really not going anywhere. It's...good to know where we stand with each other. God I miss my Dad though. Maybe it's that I wish I could introduce Kyle to my Dad. I really thihnk my Dad woudl like him, approve of him...be happy about this, happy for me. God, he hated my ex with a passion. But...I think he would be thrilled for me now. I really, really do. And I wish that Kyle could meet him for the importance he had in my life. It really makes me kinda sad. Ok, very.
Anyways...I'm going to go put some biscuits in the oven....at this point, I'm just going to skip bed tonight and stay up, so, I might as well make a super awesome breakfast.
Just realized instead of the words, I could snag it off youtube and get the song AND the lyrics...I gotta admit, this is a voicemail that I definetely saved.
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