Sleepy

11/09/2011

It's never ending...



I swear, if it's not one thing it's a million others. Back in Feb., I had pre-cancerous cells removed from my right breast, and was told if I ever encounter a lump again to watch it for a cycle, and if it doesn't go away or starts to grow, to call the doctor so biopsies can be arranged. About a month and a half ago now, I found another lump. So, I have an appointment tomorrow to start the testing process all over again. I'm nervous as all hell, all over again. It's like having my worst fear, be a constant fear in my life. And of all the times of year to have to go bald, this wouldn't be a good one. Fucking winter in Kansas. The lump is now about the size of a golf ball, and I'm producing one sided milk. This doesn't feel like it's setting me up for the best results.

I've been dealing with a lot on the mental healthcare side of business, too. I'm on a lot of medications, but things seem to be evening out for the meantime. I mean, at least I'm not suicidal most days. That's an improvement. I'll take what I can get.

What I REALLY wish I could get, is an afternoon without kids so I could get some serious cleaning done without a tornado following me to undo everything. I want to just deep clean the fuck out of this place, I swear I didn't have this big of a cleaning drive even when I was pregnant and nesting. It really came quite out of the blue.

Anyways...there's my periodic bad blooper entry for the quarter. I really should write more often, it's refreshing.