As whoever may have noticed I've posted stuff at odd hours. Mostly because I don't sleep. Now, yeah I sleep. But not often and for not very long periods of time. (Right now I've been awake for thirty one hours) I have so much going through my head its almost like if I sleep ill loose something. Of course this isn't a conscious idea or decision. It's just my reasoning, my explanation for why I can only sleep one to three hours a night if I even sleep at all. (Which I guess would make it conscious.) A by product of my insomnia and constant "pondering" is a certain intenseness that a lot of people don't understand when they meet me. I have found that i come across as.. well, a dick. Its unfortunate really because I feel I'm quite the opposite. Im different than most people in a lot of ways. Sure, who doesn't think they are different? I don't really feel like I was meant for this time period, pretty weird I guess. Pretty hard to explain too. I've never tried to explain it and I don't think I will now. Well, maybe... I feel like I have the mind of an artist without the ability or desire to learn how to create art. (beyond the occasional lyrics and music I produce) Maybe just the somewhat controlled insanity of the great painters of the past. I find my logic is beyond what most find logical in the world. Almost like I create my own rules for the way things should be. Perhaps I live in a dream word. Or perhaps I'm one of few who see this place as it really is. We only live once as we are today. If we do in fact come back again as us we live the same life making the same mistakes. I choose not to believe in a higher power because I choose to take complete control over this life. I don't let go of my problems by giving them to a deity to sort through, I don't believe in heaven because believing in heaven takes so much away from this life if we all just go to a better place when we die. What is the point in life if we continue to live after death? This post has taken a life of its own and I credit anyone who has read this far. I've rambled and spun myself around so many topics that I feel it has become slightly incoherent.
I'm not writing this or anything else I post to try and be interesting... Like I'm sure a lot of people do. I'm writing this shit to be me.. For once. No one knows me here. Somehow it's easy to be me when no one knows who I am. Which in itself is sad and a topic for an entirely different post. Which brings me to another random point... I'm going to post a lot on here I think... It may just be a few words. Just so everyone knows.
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