Just rambling.

I woke up fairly refreshed this morning. I've been pretty sleepy lately. As if I thought this whole break-up thing couldn't get any worse, I deleted all of his comments and stuff today. Now that was the hardest thing I've done yet. I've been watching so many funny shows, and listening to so much funny music that I think my cheeks have been permanently damaged. All of the laughter really helps though, even if it does make me sound like a mad woman. Nobody in the house has said anything, probably too afraid to find out what I'm laughing at. Haha. But I'm pretty sure the whole neighborhood can hear me.

It amazes me just how not very long ago, he seemed so into me. Giving me sweet little comments, funny, bizarre comments that made me smile so much, that I can't believe I had the heart to delete them. They're all gone now, accept for a few that I just couldn't part with. Out of sight, out of mind I suppose.

But there's hope! I got my grades back, and everything was really good, I should be getting my financial aid back fall quarter. My mom has set up a payment plan for this poor quarter. I feel bad that she has to pay for me, but neither her or I think it's a good idea for me to drop out and get a job. I'm just now adjusting to school life. I had a really hard time getting use to studying and all of that delightful shit.

I'm also studying for yet ANOTHER permit test. Driving scares the bajeeeebus out of me. All I can remember is "JUST HIT THE POODLE. Don't kill us. KILL THE POODLE!" Is what my driving instructor said to me, that faithful day. So atleast I wouldn't be a people killer, but a poodle killer. Turns out that I didn't have to hit the poodle, and kill us in the process. He was pretty frustrated with me. He yelled for awhile, I think he was an old drunk by the way his words sounded. I cried, and he just kept on going. Drama llama. But I'm tired of walking to school, waking up an hour earlier than I need to, and almost always being 10 minutes late. Not to mention I'd be able to visit old friend's and go anywhere I'd want without bugging my poor mum. I am after all 20 years old. People my age, have already been driving for many years. They still suck though. Lol. It's not the writing that irks me, but the actual driving itself. I have problems switching lanes, and reversing. And when someone is in the car with me, it just drives me nuts. I can't imagine someone being in the car with me while I crash into a semi or something ridiculous like that.

I was thinking of volunteering for my nephew's art program. I love kids, just not when they live with me, haha. Plus I could really use the outlet. Art is something I enjoy, and I know my nephew does too. He's always behind the scenes working on little details that I wouldn't have ever noticed, but really bring everything together. He's such a good boy, trying to make me feel better. He's always patting my shoulder and saying "It's okay, you don't need him." So if a 12 year old boy thinks so, it must be true. Right?

I'm going to go visit my granny, she should be home fairly soon. So I'll have another person bugging me for stuff. I don't mind though, I think that's what I crave right now. Things to do, and people to see.

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