picture and layout made by: me |
Alright so im making a new entry layout as you can see. Its still in the works though lol as of now have to go back into whatever i wrote and put breaks so that it doesnt look all weird. Eventually im gonna try and put in scrolling boxes so that it doesnt really matter. I dont really feel like doing html right now, its 3 am and i should have been in bed at least 3 hours ago and i always get all caught up in the html and ill end up not sleeping. lol Below this is a song, if there is one, that goes with the entry or just works to explain how im feeling. So anyways, finally, the entry...
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So I havent really wrote in this thing in awhile. I stayed the night at my uncle Bill's house for two nights and then i got home yesterday. Then yesterday i got home at ike 5 and Brent♥ picked me upat 7 something to go with him and Carr (Matt is Carr's first name) and Jackie (Carr's girlfriend).
So Nathan stayed at my uncles both nights too. Hes really cool but he is like 15 so ugh. lol We were messing around cause he was supposed to be giving me the remote but he didnt want to he was doing the whole keep it hostage from people shorter than you thing (yes sadly im 3 years older and about a whole foot shorterlol ass nine) and i like went to go get the remote and slid on the carpert and a piece of my skin came off lol so its like rug burn to theworst degree. Some how the spot where i now have no skin is a perfect circle. Weird.
Anyways Brent came back Saturday but i went to Bills saturday so i didnt see Brent until Monday (yesterday) when i got back. I checked the caller ID and seen that he called so I called him
back and he was just like randomly 'Hey wanna go to Lansing?' I was like uh...when? 'Now!' Um..okay sure. lol
So he picked me up at about 7 pm. (He said that he was going with Carr and Jackie and didnt want to feel like a third wheel so he brought me along) It was totally fun and i had a really great time. We didnt get back till 11 30!Jackie was like super nice. It gotkinda akward once or twice but over all it was pretty great.
They are all military btw. lol Brent is a Marine and Carris in the Army and Jackie is in the National Guard so yeah lol I was just kinda there. Then we went into the Jewlers so that Jackie could look at stuff and it got kinda akward cause Carr was like ooh dont you think this would look great on Erika?(Brents girlfriend) Being that im just the friend whos like all ga ga over him it was kinda akward cause i was just standing there like yeah..hi.
So then we went to Dick's which is a sporting goods place and I was waiting forJackie so Carr and Brent took off and they are all running around the store lol shes like crawling round trying to hide from them and im like yeah...im so not doing that lol. She was like on her knees going down on the escalator so that they wouldnt see her lol. She was ike jees you dont want to be all stealthy and i was like um no. lol Wtf you want me to run around the store like its like a spy mission...yeah SO not doing that lol. It was still pretty fun. When the guys got distracted by the basketball thingy
me and Jackie took off lol and when they found us they were like man you knew we would get distracted by that you placed that they purposefully! Good Times.
It was really good to see Brent. lol We listened to some of the oldies but goodies like usually but not half as much as we normally do cause apparently Carr doesnt think the oldies are goodies at all. So of course i hit him whenever he says something stupid like always lol and he was like man my
right side is gonna be so much more acceptable to punches than my left. (Most of the time we're in the car and he's driving and im on the passanger side & left handed so whenever i hit him obviously its on his right arm) lol I dont know why but i liked that he said that lol i think he liked
that idea too.
I really wanna right him a letter right now but im trying not to so im just blabering on here. Ever since I found out that he was with Erika i stopped writing the letters. The letters were basically for fun or whatever i never really planned on giving them to him but then when we started to get closer and i thought he liked me i had thought that if we ever really got together id give them to him so that he could see what i wasnt telling him before we got together. So obviously im trying not to write them now.
Yesterday I put away the book that I made for all of teddys letters. (When me and Teddy were together I bought this wooden chest type like thing and its in the shape of a book, so i painted it. The cover is brown and where the pages would be if it was real is an off white. I glued a heart on the cover and put letter stickers on it. So it says Theodore above the heart and Cassandra below it. On the side it says Vol. 1 (obviously i didnt plan the break up) and so all the letters that we wrote to each other at school and stuff are in this book and inside the front 'cover' is a picture of me and him on new years.) Anyways i put that in a drawer so its not out in the open anymore, eventually i guess ill throw it away. I did take the 8x10 that we got taken at the planitarium and throw it out, i also threw out the 4x6 of him that for some reason i still had hanging on my wall. So basically ive pretty much moved on. Ive been pretty much over the break up but ive still been trying to keep in touch cause i honestly did feel really bad about the way things ended up. But when I told him the junk about my dad and how i didnt want to go home because id probably end up in jail he said i was over exagerating and that my dad seemed pretty cool when he was here so he didnt know the whole story, like id just made it up or something. Later on i was talking to Brent and he was like Cassandra...your kicking a dead cat. lol I got what he meant and i guess he was right.
I dont know spending that time with Brent yesterday just got a lot of stuff rumbling around in my head and i think im going through a new phase right now. I dont know what it is yet but
i can feel it lol. I got home and threw all that junk away and then i cleaned my room. I mean i really cleaned it, swept the floor and everything. And those of you who know me know that thats not
normal. lol I usually do that when im pissed but im not angry im just...done. With a lot of people and things. Heres looking forward to the new year. Kind of.
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Heres a song to go with the entry... |
High Hopes by Frank Sinatra
Next time your found, with your chin on the ground
There a lot to be learned, so look around
Just what makes that little old ant
Think he'll move that rubber tree plant
Anyone knows an ant, can't
Move a rubber tree plant
But he's got high hopes, he's got high hopes
He's got high apple pie, in the sky hopes
So any time your gettin' low
'stead of lettin' go
Just remember that ant
Oops there goes another rubber tree plant
When troubles call, and your back's to the wall
There a lot to be learned, that wall could fall
Once there was a silly old ram
Thought he'd punch a hole in a dam
No one could make that ram, scram
He kept buttin' that dam
'Cause he had high hopes, he had high hopes
He had high apple pie, in the sky hopes
So any time your feelin' bad
'stead of feelin' sad
Just remember that ram
Oops there goes a billion kilowatt dam
All problems just a toy balloon
They'll be bursted soon
They're just bound to go pop
Oops there goes another problem kerplop
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