The "guy" behind the great transformation.

09/02/2009

My bloop friend, Majd, left me a comment saying, "YAY! I'm so glad you've been happy these past couple of days =D I wanna know all about this guy who helped with this great transformation XD."

I really have had a wonderful past couple of days, and I'm sure that today will be nothin' short of spectacular. I do have to say there's been one easily assumed error on Majd's part, but it's not really a problem and it's easily corrected. This wonderful "guy" behind the great transformation is actually a wonderful "girl".

Her name is Katy; I call her my Katy Bug or "Bug" for short and I'm her "Jellybean".

I haven't known her for long at all, but in the short time of knowing her, everything has seemed to make sense. All of the chaos is seeming to sort itself out, doors are opening that were once bolted shut, and my heart doesn't feel the gaping holes leftover from past failures and miserable yearnings for things "unattainable".

I could go on about her for hours, and that's not an exaggeration. Everything about her may not seem "perfect" by the "known standards" but she's perfect for me. Her personality meshes right with my own and I've never felt more comfortable with someone in my life. I have an especially hard time getting along with girls, despite being bisexual, and I've always been more prone to feel like I fit in "more with the guys". As soon as I talked to Katy, everything I knew went entirely out of the window. All of my expectations were overshot, my guards came down, my armor clanked to the ground, and there I was.. my cards laid down on the table. She accepts me, loves everything about me, and most importantly she told me something that nobody has ever said to me before, "I promise you that I will always be here for you, because you deserve to have someone to look after you. You shouldn't have to be strong all the time."

She is entirely right.

For my near 19 years of existence, I have searched far and wide to find someone who will hold my hand as I hold theirs and not only when things are good, but through the hardships as well. Katy is willing to give me her all and she needs me just as much as I need her. Mutualism is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

I've never met a person so brilliant, thoughtful, considerate, intelligent and articulate, beautiful, captivating, and most of all, loving. She takes my breath away each time I talk to her; she's already made my eyes water twice and I've cried once and it's never once been tears shed for pain. She told me that she didn't want me crying even if it was good tears because she'd hate to think of me crying but it's like I told her, "I don't mind if the tears fall as long as they fall for the right reasons. It's like when it begins raining while the sun is still shining."

She completes me, as I complete her, and I hope we will last for a very, very long time. We're separated by thousands of miles, but distance doesn't matter when you're connected at the heart.

"Pale September, I wore the time like a dress that year
The autumn days swung soft around me, like cotton on my skin
But as the embers of the summer lost their breath and disappeared
My heart went cold and only hollow rhythms resounded from within
But then he rose, brilliant as the moon in full
And sank in the burrows of my keep
And all my armor falling down, in a pile at my feet
And my winter giving way to warm, as I'm singing him to sleep"
Fiona Apple - "Pale September"