Had a long chat with Tom last night- he thinks that I could never be long term with Brett, we had a nice honest talk about our sordid history hehe, and how I still wish he was gay (which for all intents and purposes he is)!
It feels so nice to get to just speak my heart and mind and not feel judged, I miss not constantly having that, and feeling consored a lot as I've got older. I realised through our talk that my tattoo is a physical reminder of that stupid broken scar inside. I've lost the ability to trust and love I think, and it's kinda weird. Tom was guilt tripping me telling me how awful it was that I couldn't throw myself into a relationship- is it awful??? Cos right now it's my safety net holding me up- reminding me not to be stupid.
Is it better to love wholly and be destroyed completely??? Or to love half-heartedly and never want to die again???! Hmmm....
As Angelina Jolie says- 'What nourishes me, destroys me'
Love fallen xxx |
Loading...