So I've been having an awesome couple of weeks- yes I sometimes feel like I want someone to share it with other than my best mates but for the most part it's been great! The one bad thing I've noticed (Steph now calls it the Catholic Guilt) is just how bad I feel about drinking so much- every day of every weekend I am drunk, usually by 6pm as well!! I really feel bad for my body, knowing it'll make me terribly fat- I still do enjoy getting drunk lots!!
Been hanging out with the Langley boys a bit- had an awkward turtle moment with Lizzi over dinner the other day, she took offense to my 'if you go out with Gav I won't chose between you'- but I know, even with her joking exterior- that if something did go wrong she'd make me chose- just like she did with Lawrence... or just like Nikki did with Alex- I've been on the end of friends dating before and it's always ended badly, so I speak from experience and friend losing! (and somehow I always come off as a bitch for wanting to keep my friends)!
Holding Bugsy auditions tonight, I'm excited to see what the kids will come up with, but also very nervous about the whole situation and how it will work in practice- have I thought it through enough??! My boy obsessed thoughts are coming back- I feel like I should settle for the sake of it, got interest, but I'm not interested- so I know I should leave it!! (I'm moving up in the world)!
In addition I'm going to spend Easter trying to sort myself out- a bit of a detox- deleting my facebook 'friends' to cleanse my online life as well as my real life- just generally trying to get back to basics and remember what it is I like about myself...
Love Fallen xxx |
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