I feel so rough today, from a drinking bout of wonder... note to self: Do NOT drink on a Sunday, don't smoke when you don't actually smoke- especially not when the next day all you can smell is stale fags!!! I had a good night, hung out with C. We always play games and have a laugh, things went to the next level this time... kissing etc... but due to my extreme drunkness I sent him on his way home as I knew I didn't want to do anymore in that state. You can't take back bad things like that!! My housemate told me off today for my behaviour; I felt like a 5 year old. I also hung out with Lawrence this week, who wants to take me out on the town next week- I've never gone out with him and not done drugs... it will be 5 months this week since I have been clean, I don't really want to ruin it now, hmmm...
The guy Chris I was dating was being a real flake- he keeps saying he has a great time on dates, we kiss etc and get on... and then he doesn't text for ages. I deleted his number after our date last week... and he only just texted me today! Can I be bothered with someone who can't be that in to me>???!
This is the final week for my form etc, they seem sad rather than excited... I am looking forward to prom on Friday, it should be entertaining... and no coaches this year so I don't have to be on duty!!
The hen do this weekend was interesting... I had a lot of fun and was so glad they didn't really talk about couply things which would have led me to dispair- a hysterical Helena called off the wedding, but things seem to be OK today (from reading her FB).... Drama drama drama eh!
I am not sure what I'm like at the moment, I don't feel depressed or happy. Law said I looked sad, but I can't think why! I am acting out a lot, feeling like a teenager, pushing against the rules of growing up... i just don't want to do what is expected of me for the sake of it. So instead I have gone back to my rents whilst they are on holiday to chillax with my bro and feel like a little kid again!
Love Fallen
xxx |
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