Well it's half term- and I am loving being off- this week I bought a new Vauxhall Astra (my bank now hates me) so I was made happy... I went to go visit my cousin at Uni and partied like a teenager again; miss that carefree life of being able to blow off lectures and have next to no commitments.
If my heating isn't fixed today I actually will throttle someone- I am furious about this situation, that I haven't been able to live properly in this house of dreams! It also means I am forced to live nomadically (I'm at my parents at the moment, locked in my room with the radio up loud to drown them out)!
I have also set up an account for my bro which I am putting money into every month so that he can fund himself through uni- how fricking annoying is that!! Since neither of my parents now work the responsibility now falls on me to pay for him- a life of bankrupcy coming my way!
I miss not living with Bex so much- seeing her on Tuesday was a reminder that I did have someone I could talk to at any time about anything- I think I',ve been trying to replace her with Brett and to be honest he's not up to it... he's a boy for a start so doesn't really get when I need to vent/ rant, I feel like I'm contacting him all the time which sucks, and I can't be totally honest (whereas with Tom and Adam I can)... and so I am alone, with my psychotic thoughts yet again, no one to talk to (other than on here)l, with a craving to just get drunk and pass out (it's now 12.30pm- maybe not so smart)!
I want so badly to just hop on a plane and start my life again- got the 3 year plan with Jess to move to New York, although I'm now thinking somewhere warmer like California would be best- craving the sunshine!
Dominique has invited me to Trinidad this summer, I'm so there! Should be cheap too as I'll only need planefare- anyways best go get on with life and check out the heating sitch.
WHat the hell do I do about my boyfriend situation?? is it worth the drama??
Fallen xxx |