If during a break-up/'on a break' a boyfriend/husband or girlfriend/wife sleeps with someone else, does this mean that he/she has cheated on their partner? Does either of these scenarios give more leeway to the behaviour during the break-up/'on a break' or is it flat out wrong to do so? The reason I ask is not due to actual experience, but what I have heard through my various circle of friends, on television, etc, and I am slightly concerned about how people outside of the immediate couple treat this issue. Does anyone mind giving me their views on this?

Personally, I believe anything you do while you're on a break has no place being brought up in your relationship. The whole idea of being on a break is to get away from your partner and experience other things/people, so you can come back to your partner with a new appreciation for them.

Breaking up is entirely different, as you generally don't go back to your former partner. If you do, certainly anything you did during the break up shouldn't have any effect on your relationship, because you were not together in any way during that time.

I think a "break" is probably something different to everyone. So, the couple should probably discuss it before taking a "break". If not, then they truly can't get MAD about anything the other person does.

A "break-up" is just that. The couple breaks-up, and they are free to do what they want with whom they choose.

I think a break is practically a break up. If someone was on break with me & slept with another woman. I wouldn't go back to him because I think it's trashy, but I wouldn't think of it as cheating. A break to me is a time apart to see if you really should stay together or if being apart is better. If you sleep with another person then in my opinion you've made your decision you have no interest in being with the other person.

Everyone's views on cheating is different. Some people will actually LET their partners sleep with other people, as long as they stay 'emotionally faithful' to them. I say this because ultimately, the term 'cheating' comes down to the emotional damage caused to the innocent partner afterward. If your partner doesnt care- it's not cheating.

Obviously, you cant cheat if you're not in a relationship. So if you're on a 'break', I suppose it's technically not considered "cheating". But it is just as bad. Your (ex)partner will be just as hurt if/when they find out. Call it whatever you'd like, the damage is the same. Likewise, if you break up with someone just so you can sleep with someone else and then go back later- It may not be "cheating" but it is sleazy. The terminology really doesn't make a difference. I personally wouldn't stay with someone who did either.

Personally, if you're on a break, you're on a break. All bets are off, and you can sleep with whoever you want. I always sided with Ross ;D

Thank You! Rachel was such a bitch for that. lol.

Personally, depending on the length of time of the break if it were say, six months. and someone had been with another person. Thats not something I'd freak about. I'd be hurt, yes, if we got back together. but I wouldn't freak.
If it was a couple of weeks, ohhh baby jesus. I would freak out more than a monkey on speed.

I think on a break means you're just taking time for yourselves, and not actually broken up. So when a couple is "taking a break" I would DEFINITELY see it as cheating.

We'll hope that makes sense after I post this.

oh boy this reminds me of the Friends' ep with Ross and Rachel, yes i personally think if your on a break and u sleep with someone else THAT is cheating because tech your heart is sitll for them... or on hold. but if you break up then sleep thats different.

if i asked for space or a break from my husband and he fucks some bitch, yeah i would think that would be cheating and it would be over.

but thats just my opinon

It is SO sad that this is a difficult question for me to answer based on Ross and Rachel in FRIENDS, isn't it?? Lol. I'd like to say that taking a break and breaking up frees each person to do as they please. You're on a break/broken up for a reason, right? And that technically means that you're no longer together, therefore no longer bound to the other person in that sense. Personally, it would take me a long while to get over the person enough to feel that I could be with someone else. And I, personally, would probably be hurt if my partner had sex with someone else while we were broken up/on a break and then we got back together. Hurt/upset? Yes. Would I be allowed to be angry enough to end the entire relationship forever over it? No. It was a break/break up. It's always complicated more by the situation itself, I also think.

If it's just a "break" and that means you are intent on trying to work things out with that partner. So to me, yes. Anything done while on a "break" may not be exactly cheating but it definitely will further deepen the problems that you are already having that have caused you to take a "break" in the first place.

i agree.. a "break" is like a time to cool off or in need of space. also the do's and dont's need to be stated b.c its technically not a "break-up". but a break-up is a end of a relationship.. the person is free to do what they please.

I know that if my boyfriend were to sleep with another woman if we went on a break, I'd be done. It's disrespectful. A break isn't a break-up, & I'm not gonna let him go screw around with another girl, then come back to me. No thank you.

If he really wants to see what another girl is like, then we'd be done. I wouldn't want to put up with it because I don't deserve it & I know that he'd feel the same way - if I were to sleep with another guy while we were on a break, he'd be pissed.

Is this because you would view the 'break' as time to be spent reviewing over the relationship and therefore not 'freedom' over all rules? That the relationship is still there, even with the 'break'? And if you don't mind me asking another question, would you feel that you need to tell your boyfriend this before the 'break' or would you believe that he already knows?

Yeah, I view the break time as just time apart from each other but we're still together. Him & I went on a break this past March. We both did our own thing - I moved out of the house, went & partied with my friends & he partied with his friends. We both knew that hooking up with someone else was a no go, but we both said it to each other just to make sure, too.

Do you mind if I inquire further on this? Exactly what kind of behaviour is allowed then during the 'break'? And what exactly constitutes as 'hooking up'?

When I'm on a break, I do what I wanna do. I take care of myself, party where I want to & party with whomever I please. But I won't kiss another guy or go beyond that because I know that I wouldn't want my boyfriend to do that with another girl. I guess it's like we're still together, we're just not worrying about each other.

Thank you always, jes.

That's how I view a break as well.
Just taking time for yourself.

i feel the same way about the break! it's just time to gather your thoughts and relieve some of the stress of the relationship. the rules of the relationship still apply.

if you break up with the person, sleeping with anyone else is in no way cheating. you're not in that relationship, so you can't be cheating.

going on a break though depends on the terms, but usually the couple agrees to see other people so it doesn't count as cheating either. some people go on breaks but agree not to see other people, so it can count as cheating if you made that agreement, i think. if you left it ambiguous i don't think it should count as cheating if it was never brought up.

Personally I wouldn't see it as cheating but I couldn't go back to my boyfriend if he did it. My fiancee and I took a break and to us it was about thinking over the relationship and decide if we really wanted to be together, not so much about seeing other people. I think if you see other people it's a break up, but that's my opinion.

I comepletely agree with Aiure. Basically the same thing that I was going to say :)

I comepletely agree with Aiure. Basically the same thing that I was going to say :)

Off subject but this reminds me of that episode of friends with ross and rachel ;-D. anyway, i'll go read it for real this time and give my two cents.