How many people does someone have to have sex with before you think them a slut?

Is this number higher or lower depending on if they are male or female?

This provoked some good discussion in my class yesterday, and I hope it will do the same on Bloop =)

I know a girl who is 17 and she has slept with 7 men. She is a very odd girl anyway and I get the feeling that she does it because she needs someone to love her.
But that to me is slaggy!

At 21 I have slept with 3 men and that's on the normal-low side amongst my friends.

At 17 I had slept with 7 men (& still at 20, the number has remained the same). I don't think that made me a slut at all. I had been in relationships with all 7 of the men. I was also a little naive when I was around 15-16 when I started having sex. I just wanted attention from men. I think it had a lot to do with me being sexually abused as a young child and then again when I was 16 that made me want to give men sex as a way of feeling loved by them. Maybe that made me naive or damaged but not at all slaggy.

That is bad! Your friend not you!

I'm the same as you, but 20.

7 men by age 17. Holy shit. If you think about it, that would be one man a year since age 10. That is a lot.

Oh and if that girl had been a boy, I'd still think it was whoreish behaviour!

It depends on the person. It has to be enough to shock me in order for me to think they're a slut.

For instance, if a little shy girl slept with 4 guys, I'd be pretty shocked.

On the flip side, if someone who looks like they sleep around and said they slept with only 6 guys, I'd be surprised that she hasn't slept with more.

WHAT ABOUT A BIG SHY GIRL, YO? DOES SIZE MAKE A DIFFERENCE?

Nope. Just a random adjective.

Honestly I do not think it is right for anyone to judge how many people someone has or has not slept with. Everyone is different and has experienced totally different lives. A girl that is a virgin at my age maybe would have been with as many men as I have at my age if she would have lived my life. People come from different upbringings, environments, and have experienced different things in life, so I don't judge anyone. I would never call another woman a slut. I have more respect for myself and women in general to use that word. If we use it that just lets men know it's okay.

'If we use it that just lets men know it's okay.'
Not really, because it's a derogatory term.

Exactly, but we are setting ourselves up for it. It is a awful word to use for a woman, and if women call each other that, then it's all the more reason for a man too.

"A girl that is a virgin at my age maybe would have been with as many men as I have at my age if she would have lived my life."

How can you say that? That girl may have made different choices. You can't say that for a fact.

I didn't state that as a fact, that's why I said "might". What out of that sounded like I was stating a fact?

Or I said "maybe" which is the same. It still isn't saying that "she will".

If you want to nitpick, you said maybe, not might.

I just.... I don't see how you can speculate that, that a virgin your age would have slept with seven men if she had lived your life. Circumstances don't dictate our actions. A girl your age that is a virgin probably had temptations and her own situations where she could have chosen to have sex, but didn't. Because if you say that, it seems as though you are saying that your environment is responsible for your actions, not you.

"I just.... I don't see how you can speculate that, that a virgin your age would have slept with seven men if she had lived your life."

I never said that.

If you must know, I was sexually abused at age 12 & 16, it completely changed the way I perceived sex. I didn't have a father figure, so I was longing for male attention even if that meant giving something that I didn't want to to get it. I wanted a man to love me and at that age I wasn't mature or smart enough to realize that sex didn't equal love.

"A girl that is a virgin at my age maybe would have been with as many men as I have at my age if she would have lived my life."

That is speculating.

speculate: surmise, theorize, suppose

I know what speculate means. You are the one who was saying I stated it as a fact and I didn't. But that's beside the point. I know for a fact that upbringing, environment, and etc have a lot to do with how you make decisions in life, and that's why I theorize that it might be possible a girl who is a virgin might not be if she had been raised differently or been brought up in a different environment. You are always responsible for your own actions, but there are other factors that play into what decisions you make in life.

I agree with you Makayla. I was sexually abused at age 3, then again at 9, and then again from 16-17, and I percieve sex MUCH differently then people who have not been sexually abused.

I don't think being sexually abused is a choice these days....

i never said that it was. i said that she chose to sleep with seven people. that was a choice she made. not being abused. i said that everyone has choices, and perhaps if another girl was in her place, she would have made different choices when deciding whether or not to sleep with someone. not whether or not to be abused. everyone handles things differently, so it wouldn't be right to speculate that if i had her life, i would live it exactly the same way as her, or anyone else for that matter.

Actually, if you had her life then you would have made the same decisions because you would have had her life, so you would be her in her life and you'd have her experiences, her thoughts, and you'd make her choices. That's not the same as saying if you - with your life, experiences, thoughts, and feelings - had been sexually abused that you would make those same decisions as she did. If you are having her life, then you will make her decisions, because you'd have her life - not yours.

im not going to read what everyone else read.. well maybe tomorrow but for now i'll just say this..

me and my friends agree that for both male and female... if you need to use your toes to count your a hoe. granted ... we're hoes. or were? lol

I have a friend who can't count on her hands AND feet.
She ran out of little units over four years. Ages 14-18 >.>