Like i said, it appears you got lucky. no long term affects, that you know of. You took a rick, and you may have lucked out. who knows.....

Okay fine, in the recoding the child is already crying a bit, she knows what is coming, a spanking, with a bare hand and teh child is fully clothed. The child knows what they did wrong, and knows it is now time form a spanking (in the south they calling it whipping) Here hear the lady saying all of this, you know what you're getting the "whipping" (spanking/smacking) you hear her say, now move your hand, lol
look, it;s really horrible, the child is already crying, and that makes my heart dropped hearing a child cry, i want to rescue them. anyway, the child is already crying, and the mommy still spanks her, and she creams out crying even more.... it's very cruel. that is my opinion. one shared by thousands, as is yours.
Eventually spanking will be outlawed. just like slavery is now.
In the future they will look back and say my how barbaric were our ancestors. we do this now to our own ancestors, and it will be done to us. we are barbarians.

Wow! That's all I can say about your description of that. I don't think I would have been able to make it through it.

Should a child still be spanked even if they know what they did was wrong? It depends. If they did BECAUSE they knew it was wrong, certainly. If they did it, knowing it was wrong, but not BECAUSE they knew it was wrong, it depends on what the problem was (I don't know if I have said this before in this thread, but I don't believe every wrong act is punishable by a spanking). If they did it, realized afterwards it was wrong, and apologized for it (and are sincere about the apology), they should absolutely NOT be spanked. At that point, a different punishment should be used.

If the child is crying before the spanking because they know they are getting a spanking (and not necessarily because they are truly sorry for what they did), though, I can't honestly say how I feel about that because it never happened with my child. It all depends on the reason behind the tears, I guess. Knowing what you did wrong and being sorry for it are two different things (and to be quite honest, sometimes when a child cries because they know they are going to be spanked it's only because they don't want to be spanked, NOT because they are sorry for what they did). I'm not saying this particular child wasn't sorry, I'm just saying that just because she was crying doesn't mean she shouldn't have been spanked. It depends on the circumstances. Though I'm not sure I could carry out a spanking on my already crying child. It's heartbreaking enough to spank, it's heartbreaking enough to have my child crying. To have a child crying before being spanked...gosh, I don't know if I could do it. (And thank God I never had to!)

I think if spanking is outlawed, it will be because far too many who do utilize it don't understand how to properly utilize it and border too closely to abuse rather than discipline. Because that IS the case, I won't be upset about it being outlawed. The children do need to be protected. I don't believe spanking itself is the problem, though, it's the lack of self control and knowledge on HOW to do it and WHEN to stop that is the problem. A problem, unfortunately, far too many parents have.

If one were to use that logic on an adult. it wouldn't fly. and it shouldn't fly for children to. You're right, children have the same rights as adults do for protection.
There is no proper way to hit a child.
It's like saying murdering one person is okay, just dont be a serial killer. you have to know when to stop.
okay that was a lil extreme example,lol

When an adult does something wrong, they get punished for it regardless of whether they are truly, deeply sorry for what they did, because they knew better (and if they didn't, they still get punished for it, but in a different manner). The difference is you are trying to keep the child from becoming that adult, and the punishment should fit the "crime" as well as the apology in order to effectively teach a child right from wrong. I can't count how many times a spanking was avoided in my youngest son's case simply because he knew the potential for a spanking (he could tell when he had done something serious enough to warrant a spanking just by looking at my face and in my eyes), which caused him to understand what he had done was wrong and be truly sorry for it. Of course he was still punished, but when he conveyed to me that he understood why it was wrong, the spanking was avoided.

Some children need that occasional swat to fully understand just how wrong that action they did was wrong. But if you are putting your full strength and swatting full force, that is abuse, not discipline. But the occasional swat (note: swat, not hit....there IS a difference) can sometimes be enough of a shock to that child that nothing else works on to get them to realize "Hey! Maybe they're serious when they tell me not to do that". Yes, it does have potential to have the opposite effect, but I would argue that's because the parents did not exert some self-control over their spanking methods, and not the spanking itself.

And just because you once spanked someone and now are completely against it doesn't make you a hypocrite. A hypocrite is someone who continually preaches against something and continually does that which he speaks against.

You're a lot of things, Tommy, but in this topic I would not call you hypocritical. Simply...very passionate about. ;-)

Though I do need to ask.....are you then against "birthday spankings"? Or how about "love pats"? Those, too, are considered "hits". So if there is no proper way to hit a child, what would you say about birthday spankings and love pats?

100 years worth of studies proved you wrong, real professional say you are completely wrong

I'll listen to the experts, you can pretend you are one,lol

Oh, so I get it. The only studies that mean anything to you are the ones you agree with, right? Well, dear full-of-himself-my-opinion-is-the-only-one-that-matters Tommy, let me point out to you that there ARE studies that also say the opposite of what you are saying. Not necessarily the opposite, but they actually make the distinction between abuse and the occasional spanking and prove YOU wrong. One of those studies has been pointed out to you. But because you don't agree with it, it doesn't matter, right?

And here I thought you were capable of having an intelligent discussion without throwing out snarky comments. Obviously I was wrong.

Your personal experience and the studies you want to agree with show one thing.

MY personal experience (as a mother, a child, a caregiver, a babysitter, and an observer) and the studies I have seen show another thing entirely.

You do your thing, I'll do mine. Until the evidence agrees, we'll each do what we believe to the best and the right thing to do. I know that what I did was not abuse by any definition, and I am comfortable with my decision and my son is a very happy, loving, not-even-remotely-afraid-of-Mommy-or-aggressive boy.

Don't like it? Guess it's a good thing you're not my child and I don't have to answer to you, now isn't it?

that's not it

I'm just totally bored with this topic now

sorry

I'll keep quite

take care

LMAO! If you're totally bored with this topic, stop visiting it! lol ;-)

oh hey btw, i dont know if you saw this. but I am a hypocrite. when i was around 18 i was watching my nephew, and he had been hitting his sister. well, i spanked him a good swat on the butt, and said how to you like it! now stop hitting her.
I later realized i was wrong. I was teaching that hitting is okay, sometimes.

HI TOMMY!!!! :D :D :D "Awesome sauce" started as a Neopet thing, ya dig? LOL, Ya I dig it though!! :D :D :D

Lol, i dig :D

Interesting stuff.

I'm just wondering... if any of us turned up at work tomorrow and had done something wrong that required a disciplinary (sp?), how shocked and appalled would we be if our bosses took us over their knees and smacked us on the backside, possibly in front of other members of staff or perfect strangers? I think I'd be absolutely outraged if that were to happen, not to mention humiliated! I mean, if it's against the law for an adult to do that to another adult... how is it perfectly okay to do that to someone probably THREE TIMES smaller than you? With all of the other methods of discipline out there that have been proven to work just as well as spanking, how is it not just plain bullying to spank a child? It is bullying. Pure and simple. It's using your advantages in size and strength to try and get someone to submit to your will through corporal punishment. Never mind treating them like human beings that we respect and love, and trying more humane methods of discipline... what's the point in that when we can just scare the crap out of them with a smack?

Yes, but I'd also be pretty horrified if I did something wrong and my boss told me I had to go and sit on a naughty chair... or if they took away my possessions.

You don't discipline children in the same way as you discipline adults, because they're not adults. They're children and they learn in a different way.

spanking doesnt teach anything.

there are plenty of kids that had n problems learning and they were never spanked.

s your statement is in no way true whatsoever.

children can learn just fine without hitting them. After all what are child, they are mini adults, like midgets,lol


and I guarantee you, although this may not help my argument, but i promise you if spanking was applied to teh adult world, the mere embarrassment alone would keep your workers in line. But you would be sued for cruel and unusual punishment. children deserve the same rights as adults.


now please show my what I was unable to answer, that you stated before???????
I've met all your claims would sound logic.
I've already switched sides. i was was on the side of pro-spanking
You on the other hand, have a preconceived opinion, based on you were spanked and there's nothing wrong with you now. added in with your absolute stubborness to understand the others side ie your preconceived opinion keeps you from understanding sound logic that disputed your preconceived opinion.

You had troubles understanding that it's not about the physical pain. it's about the emotion that comes with even the smallest tap.

This thread no longer holds to the point it was created. It was supposed to be "Do you or don't you believe in spanking, and why?" Not..."You spank, you're hurting your kids and are a terrible parent. Or you dont spank, you are bad."

Can we get back on topic?

"This thread no longer holds to the point it was created. It was supposed to be "Do you or don't you believe in spanking, and why?" Not..."You spank, you're hurting your kids and are a terrible parent. Or you dont spank, you are bad." I do not agree.

"in a recent entry i read on bloop spanking was brought up. which i thought would make for a good discussion.

spanking? yes? (if so what age is an ok age to start spanking?) no? maybe so

discuss please." WE ARE DISCUSSING the topic, therefore the threads original purpose has not been lost. :D :D :D

I actually don't think anyone has claimed that those who don't spank are bad parents (rather, just lucky!). Most of us who are defending the use of the occassional smack are TRYING to make the point that every child is different, and not every child responds to the same methods of discipline. It's just that those who are anti-smacking are too stubborn to accept that point.

You say you were some hellion rebellious problem child that deserved an occasional swat bec you were so bad and had to have your way as a child, etc etc

Do you honestly think that if you had different parents, perhaps if you were raised by Japanese parents in Japan, whereas the whole society is so very polite. Do you honestly believe you would have still been that rebellious little child?

No honey, you were that rebellious little child because how your environment, and your parents. that's all.
meaning your parents made mistakes, added with your environment, this caused you to be rebellious, you were not born that way.

and here i thought this was going to be an nc-17 thread. :( this is disappointing.

try listen to Lords of Acid's spank my booty song, that's never disappointing :D

"try listen to Lords of Acid's spank my booty song, that's never disappointing" *Spank my booty, come on and spank my booty~~~!!!* :D :D :D :D :D Shit, I was spittin that shit when the shit was good. =) :D :D :D

I don't have kids yet but when I do if they misbehave and don't straighten up they will get a spanking to grab their attention. I only had to get a few and if I was acting up all my parents had to do was say that if I didn't straighten up I was going to get a spankng and I'd straighten right up. I'd say about 3 or so is ok to start in my opinion as long as they understand what they are doing wrong. But that would not be my first option for punishment. And I agree with everyone that has said there is fine line between spanking and beating. Time out and things like that work to an extent but not with all kids either. Sometimes all they need is a lil pop to get their attention and they realize you mean business.

spare the rod, spoil the child! my parents used it on me, and i'm going to use it on my children. without discipline and consequences from bad actions, children rule the roost and that's just not healthy for them.