I have a two year 5 month old. He's done pinching, hitting, slapping and pushing when he gets angry. I stopped him by disciplining him. I slapped his hand. Not swat, slap. If you do it hard enough that it turns red, then you know they feel it. And he stops doing it after the 2nd or third time. If you punish them for doing wrong, they will stop doing wrong. You can pinch them back (my wife said this worked when he used to bite her when she stayed home with him, she finally bit him back once and he never did it again), slap their hand, whatever. But you have to let them know you MEAN it. A little bit of discomfort doesn't tell them you mean it.

If you don't have the fortitude to swat them hard enough to do anything, then they're going to keep on doing it. I hope the talking to them works, but it never worked for my son, it didn't work for my sister's two kids, or my brothers two kids. Punishment and discipline do work. And all their kids, and my son, are angels for babysitters and family and when we go out, etc, because they know we MEAN it when we tell them not to do something.

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior/bothersome-behaviors/biting-and-hitting-16-ways-stop-it

recommend :)

My sister got into hitting when she doesn't like something so what we started doing is when we see her hand coming at us we grab her wrist get down to her level & semi close to her face & sternly tell her no & that if she continues to hit, she will get hit back. It worked. She did it a couple more times. I grabbed her wrist told what would happen, she did it anyways so i grabbed her wrist again{{don't get me wrong, not enough to cause pain in her wrist or in a grip that would leave a mark on her}} & smack her on the butt or smack her hand. She starts to cry & I tell her she can cry in her room or she can say sorry & she can stay down stairs doing whatever it was she was doing before the tantrum. She's eight now & does occasionally hit when she's really bratty, but now we by pass the warning and go straight to smacking her hand or her butt. After the discipline I'll explain to her why I spanked her & that if she doesn't like then she needs to not hit me or anyone else because we don't like it either. It seems to work. We don't have any problems when she goes to school or to a friends house.

I've learned that time outs & such don't work for every child. I know for me when I was growing up I did something wrong I got spanked & I never did it again. Just time out didn't work with me. If time out doesn't work for your child then try spanking or pinch them back{{of course not enough to cause any real harm, but enough to have them go "whoa wait a minute, I don't like that"}}.

Hope you find something that helps you.

My preferred method of discipline when it comes to stuff like hitting, pinching, smacking is that the first time the boys do anything I firmly tell them its not acceptable. For my 22 month old that means "Ah Ah, No smacking Isaac!" and for Ben it's "Do NOT do that again, that is not nice behaviour!". If either of them continue I pick them up, put them away from me so on a different chair (not necessarily time out)... get down to their eye level and tell them basically that I do not want to speak to them until they can be nice to mummy. I ignore them basically. Make it clear that I don't want to be with them right now as they have upset me. It's the disappointment card basically and it always worked with me when I was little so maybe thats why I've fallen into using it. It definitely works with the boys as Ben (the 3 year old) now takes on board my first warning and hardly ever requires the 2nd.

Isaac is a toddler, wilful and definitely doesn't like being told no... a lot of behaviours like pinching, defiance, smacking, throwing, etc are (I think) toddler behaviours. Ben did them to but grew out of them as his understanding of the world changed. Talking to your toddler now about why we don't do things and explaining to her how things make you feel, might not change her behaviour instantly, but it will teach her about her world and as she grows you'll find she models her behaviours on the world you've taught her exists...

Ugh my brother is 6 and he still hits, I hit him back but he'll hit me again!

My daughters thankfully didnt go thru this kind of phase, but my godson just attempted it. He's 3 1/2. Both this mother and I will get down eye level, tell him that we do not pinch people because it hurts, there are words that can be used when we are upset. We will ask what upset him/why he pinched. Since its the same group of kids that he always plays with we will then make him 1) apologize for the pinching 2) explain if he can why.. (i.e you took my toy it made me mad) and then we will put him in a social time out. He has to sit/stand somewhere away from the other kids.
When he tried once to pinch my 14 yr old who was watching him she made him go play by himself, told him that he had hurt kiki so she wasnt going to play with him right now (neither I nor his mother was home) he quickly figured out he needed to apologize.

Often with younger kids the pinching/hitting etc - is their expression of anger but they cant find the words to tell you what they feel. Start talking about emotions.... And how you deal with emotions if they are old enough you think they will understand this much... (i understand you are upset because ________. but we do NOT pinch/hit etc. We use words)
For children who are non-verbal children I would still start with helping them understand the emotion - but it would be pointless to go beyond "we dont hit because we're angry/upset. It hurts people" and a possible time out, or removal from social situations if the pinching happened with another child... If it's a parent, something like a naughty chair (big believer in the naughty chair) works well. Because you are again removing the child from the social situation after explaining "we don't hurt people when we are angry"

I just want to thank everyone for all the advice. Getting at her level and telling her that shes hurting mommy and asking her why shes angry is working, shes still doing it, but less often and I am getting better results after she has pinched. (= its not going to change over night, but it has been a big help.