Well no, she was actually really over-protective at one stage. But that is what I'd class as a friend. Friends do worry about you and care about what you're doing/where you're going/who you're seeing.

sorry, i have to disagree. not everyone you can class as a friend will be looking out for your well being. friends should, but it's not their responsibility to look after you. not a lot of friends are going to care as much as a parent would about who you'll be with, where, and when you'll be home and i wouldn't say friends are over protective. some friends even encourage behaviour a parent wouldn't want a child to be doing, ie: drinking, drug taking.

friends are friends. parents are parents. not all friends are good influences. friends are people you have good times with, but friends are also people that can lead you astray and not really look out for you at all. parents generally should be people you can have good times with too, but have a responsibility for you well being and making sure you're not doing anything illegal or dangerous.

agreed 

Well gosh, they sound like rubbish friends! All my friends are nothing like that. They are all very mature and responsible. They 'bully' me for my social smoking. They make me text them when I get home from a night out with them, etc. Perhaps I am just lucky!

Yeah... I see where both you and Ev are coming from. In many cases parents ARE primary carers, so it's their job to try and discourage their kids from smoking, stay up until their kids come home from a night out, look out for mood changes, dropping grades, stuff like that. I think GOOD friends do the same thing - look out for you, make you text them, try to talk to you when they see something unusual about you. But it's *technically* not their responsibility. But I'd like to think my friends care for me like that, as I care for them like that, and, to an extent, there is a sense of mutual responsibility for each other. Then you do get the friends who are a whole lot of fun to hang out with, but who may encourage drinking and smoking and the like. People in the past who have tried to pursuade me to do those things (alcohol, smoking, drugs) that I vehemently didn't want to do at the time, but who persisted and refused to take my point of view as valid, I wouldn't really call my true friends, because it was like my opinion didn't matter to them.

yes, 12 is too young.. also, in my opinion, her mom is also to blame b.c she let her daughter's 15 y/o b/f move in!! that's just asking for it. I remember from a young age, my mom let me know that if I ever decided to have sex and a baby was a result, she wouldn't help out!! And now that I'm older, I have a problem when people wanna watch my children. simply b.c my mom told me that it was my responsibility to care for my kids.

you probably are lucky, but you attract and connect to people similar to you, so i'd say it's a reflection of how responsible and caring you are :)

i attracted some pretty rubbishy friends, along with some awesome ones. so i can see the difference between shit friends and good ones. parents should be like a good friend, but have that extra level of love and caring for you.

Hehe thanks! ;)

That's not to say I haven't had my share of shit friends... but I realised it and now they only exist as 'friends' for the purpose of boosting up the numbers on my Facebook ;D

oh god i don't get people that do that. i get complete randoms wanting to add me for that reason. no thanks!

Oh gosh no I know everyone on my FB! I never used to on MySpace though haha. But yeah I get randomers add me or people I met once and I'm like errr fuck off weirdo.

i think 18 is the positively youngest age people should have sex. at 18, you're technically an adult, and i think it's an adult thing, and something that adults can handle, in general. 12 is positively way too young.

see, I have to disagree. I know I'm only 16, but I see people who are under 18 that are emotionally and physically ready to have sex. they have taken the steps to protect themselves and their partners and are ready to deal with the consequences.

I don't think you can put a set age limit on when you can have sex. thats why us girls get our periods when we are at a younger age. yes, it's very risky to have a baby at age 13 or whatnot, but our bodies are telling us that we are ready to have children. i believe when you know that you are absolutely ready to deal with all consequences of having sex, and take the actions necessary to protect you and your partner, then you are ready regardless of age. where people get the idea that you need to be old enough is because most kids are not ready for that kind of responsibility at that age. but, there are a few wise kids/teenagers out there that are ready.

I agree that under the age of 18 CAN be ok to have sex...

However, I got my period at the age of 10, and whilst that may have been my body saying I was ready to have children, I most certainly WAS NOT.

yeah, thats what i'm saying. our bodies are telling us we can start having sex, so there isn't really a reason to restrict that action to people under 18 because its only natural for us to have it at an even younger age. but i don't mean that just because you get your period, you're ready for sex emotionally. if that makes any sense? lol

True... not that I think restricting people under 18 is a valid thing anyway. But I think anything under 16 is definitely too young mentally/emotionally. I was 15 and I look back now and think, what a fucking idiot I was. I had no idea what I was doing, what I was getting myself in to.

yeah, i know, being a 16 year old, that i'm not ready for sex quite yet. i'm still in school and i have a bright future ahead of me that would only be complicated by having sex. and i really don't want to have those thoughts when i think about the first time i make love to someone, i want to remember it as me being completely and totally at ease with the situation.

Which is a completely mature approach and if you stick with that mentality you will find that when you do have sex, it will be for all the right reasons and not just because it's the thing to do... good on you :)

thank you :) i've always held that belief about sex and its quite sad when i see people my age complain about how much they regret having sex because they weren't ready, etc.

I'm not sure even the most mature of teens are "ready to deal with all the consequences of having sex." They might KNOW what the consequences are and like to think they would be able to handle them, but I'm 24 and got pregnant with my husband on PURPOSE and I still sometimes wonder if we're ready to deal with it all. When I was a teen I wanted a baby really badly. Thank God I never got pregnant though. Teens aren't allowed to vote or buy cigarettes because society has decided that for the most part, people under 18 aren't ready to be making serious decisions like that.They do that for a reason.

That's not to say I don't think it's ok for teens to have sex because that would make me a hyprocrit, but I pray that my kids make better decisions that I did and at least wait until college (hopefully marriage).

What about countries where you leave school at 16, can leave home at 16, can be married at 16 and can have sex at 16?

the 16 y/os in those societies are different. it's just like how the drinking age is lower in most European countries than it is in the US. Most teens who drink in the US are irresponsible and do dumb crap while drinking, while they don't have as many drunk driving accidents and whatnot in other countries where the age is lowered. It's all about the society you're talking about.

You know why they are different? They aren't adults being treated like little children, they are being adults treated as adults.

I think that it's the best to have a child when you're in your 20s.

In general, no matter how old one is to get pregnant, I think it's their parents'/guardian's responsibility to support them. They don't have to agree with their child getting pregnant but they do need to support their child and go through the next step with them, whether it be keeping the child or putting it up for adoption :)

* when you're in your 20s or 30s!

.. When you have more life experience of your own, have gained more maturity (this, obviously, varies on each individual) and, possibly, have a steady job/income by then and a partner at your side. I don't think one should get pregnant unless they're positive that they're really ready for this responsibility -that they're ready for it and aren't just, "oh, I'm pregnant.. crap!" then not knowing what to do or having a really immature approach to the situation..

(BTW.. Sorry if none of this makes sense or if I'm contradicting myself.. My brain's not working very well atm..)

I should go read the other thread, but there are both high and low points. 12 year olds shouldn't be having sexual experiences. Well, with other persons that is. At that age I don't believe many are mature enough even for the physical verses the mental aspect of sex. They see all of these things in the magazines and on tv and become horribly misinformed because parents don't want to see their little angel spread out for the taking. :P

Now, the 15 year old boy moving in... while I think that's a bit extreme they can be promised to be having sex in a safe environment. If only they'd been 16+ first though! Seriously... I'd be a little miffed if my 12 year old went "MOMMY CAN [INSERT NAME] MOVE IN?!" because that just speaks a great deal of what might be going wrong. What parent would let their 15 year old son move in to his girlfriend's home, for instance? Surely can't be too healthy.