I am hoping it's a question she doesn't want to know the answer to, to be honest... and therefore won't ask. I would never ask my parents, and quite frankly it's because I simply do not want to know the intimate details of their lives. It's bad enough knowing that they have had sex with each other, let alone with other people hahah. I think there are some things kids need to know, and some things they don't. I won't lie to her if she asks me, but I don't think she needs to know and would prefer it did not come up in conversation, ever!

I agree with Genes. I highly doubt that she (or he) is going to ask "how many sexual partners have you had?" I certainly have never asked my mother, or thought it for that matter. I mean, I don't even really ask my mates that!!!!! There are some things which are talked about when it comes to sex between mum and daughter and mates, but that specific question I doubt would come up. Having said that Jessica has just said she asked her mum....

This reminds me of when I was a kid.
I couldn't have been more than ten when I turned to my mom (in front of my sister who was about 18/19 at the time) and said 'mom, how many times have you had sex?'
Not how many people, how many TIMES. ;D

I'm so glad she never answered that.

It depends on how old they are when they ask you. It's just like answering the question about where babies come from. Your answer should fit their developmental age. If they are of an older age (I'd say teens), it wouldn't be wise to lie, but you don't have to tell them an exact number. You might be able to get away with telling them you have had more partners than you are willing to admit, but then follow through with an explanation as to WHY you might be "ashamed" to admit the number. But ALWAYS find out WHY they want to know. That's the most important thing. They don't ask those questions for no reason, they're not just naturally curious about how many sex partners their parents have had. There's an underlying reason they are asking, and that's more important than giving them the number.

that is something i would never ask my parents and hope the my son or future children would never ask me. I would be completely fine talking to them about sex but there are certain things parents (in my opnion) should ever talk about with their kids. You can talk to them to inform them, educationally as a parent. But you arent their buddy and shouldnt be talking about who u have been with, how, how many times and all those sorted details. Again thats just my opinion.

I completely agree.

I agree with this statement. I wouldnt share with my children who many people I have been with but simply educate them. I believe they dont need to know that information. I wouldnt want to know that about my parents..I personally think its gross that they had to have sex to have me..lol

you know as an example of what i am saying my mom once told me a few things i wished she had never told me.

-there is something my dad has always wanted her to do that she never would
-they smoke pot cuz it makes there sex life better

those are both WTF thoughts to me. why on gods green earth would my mom volunteer that information to me?

Parents shouldn't volunteer that sort of information. THAT is too much information. My parents are guilty of that same thing.

However, it is different than your teenage child coming to you and asking you how many sex partners you've had, because there IS an underlying reason as to why they are asking you and it really has nothing to do with the number of sex partners of the parent, but more about how they are learning to identify with the world regarding their sexuality.

Maybe they are being pressured to have sex, or maybe they've already had sex. Either way, them asking you that question has a deeper meaning that you need to find out. And it is the perfect opportunity to discuss with your child why you feel that waiting until marriage or why you feel that not having many sex partners is the best option. You don't have to give them an exact number, but you do need to keep the lines of communication open so they feel comfortable discussing such a thing with you. Because you are their parent and it is your job to help them find their way in life. And if that means discussing the number of sex partners and how you made mistakes or wish you had never had that many, then so be it.

Haha my mom volunteered info like that once. I collapsed into hysterics ;D Bless her, I love my mom.

hahaha..that reminds me of the time my mom explained oral sex with me. I was in the 7th grade and this boy had wrote "69" all over my worksheet in the margins. I thought he was just joking around like he was grading my paper with an "F". So I turned it in like that, and the teacher was VERY upset. I had to stay after class. I told her I didn't know what the big deal was. She asked me if I knew what that number stood for, and I said no. She whispered in my ear "oral sex together at once". I had no idea what that was. But I acted like I did, just so I wouldn't look stupid.

So when I went home, I asked my mom what oral sex was, and she explained it to me. I was fine with the answer "when you.......and your partner.....together" But she kept going and going telling me about how natural it was, and how some people thought it was disguisting...THEN she volunteered the information that she really enjoyed it, and that my dad & step-dad did as well....I was like WTF!!??!! and I just walked off, I could have went the rest of my life not knowing that and been JUST fine. lmao. So I know what you mean when momma gives a little TMI!!

HAHA when I was in year 8 (so aged 12/13 - quite old by today's standards!) I asked my mom what a blowjob was. She was all, 'Oh, I don't know. Is it something you get done at the hairdressers?'

She brings this up quite regularly now and finds it hilarious. Mean woman!

Oh my goodness. You poor thing. A 12 year old shouldn't be hearing such things. That's terrible. No offence intended, but do you think that the way your mother talked so openly about sex had anything to do with your having so many sexual partners at such a young age (as well as the abuse etc of course)? I'm genuinely just curious.

Actually that is the one and only conversation that we had about sex. I think that her not telling me about the birds & the bees played a big part in it. I didn't even have the talk about "private parts", or "good touch, bad touch". I think that played a major role in how I viewed sex as well, because how I learnt about sex was with an older friend who showed me with barbie dolls. I didn't even know I had a vagina until I was around 14. I thought you just rubbed up against each other, I had no idea there was "intercourse" involved. I didn't know that sex was something you gave to someone you love, I thought it was something you gave to a man to MAKE him love you.

With that said, I take 100% responsibility for my actions, but had I have gotten "the talk" from my mother, I think I would have made better choices when it came to sex. I might have even been able to tell when someone was touching me inappropriately, it's happened more than the two times I told my mother about, but I didn't think they were doing anything wrong, because I was too young to understand what was happening.

I am a firm believer that as a parent you should be the FIRST to tell your child about sex. I am going to do things completely different than my mother did with me.

I can assure you that pot might make sex nicer in the immediate-short term, but in the long term it can lead to all sorts of nasty stuff, like impotency for guys.

you are probably right but they try to hide the fact that they smoke and so i cant tell them anything cuz they got offended when i call them pot heads. haha.

Truth. Different levels of explanation depending on age. (I hope I don't get asked when hes liike.. five)

kids ask their parents how many times they've done it? what is wrong with them?! lol. i can accept how i got here, but there is no way in the world i want to know any of the gorey details.

The way I feel about this, is if you have had a large number of partners, kids may take it the wrong way and think it would be okay to be with that many people. That is a reason I would never tell my daughter how many partners I have had. Given, I'm 19 and I've had 3, it's not a large number, but I don't want my daughter to make some of the mistakes I've made.

Since on the subject of kids and sex... How do you feel about putting your daughter on birth control when she starts her period.. to me thats saying.. ok go have fun, your safe now.

to me that doesn't sound healthy physically

I don't think that way at all, lol. If my daughter came to me and asked for birth control, I'd ask her why she wanted it. If she was having sex, I would talk to her about being safe and everything. But I know some people get on BC to help with their periods and cramping. I DO NOT think that's saying "Okay, go have all the sex you want now." If my daughter wanted to get on birth control, I would make sure as hell she knew about safe sex.

Woah. No. big no. Also, I think being on BC for years and years isn't healthy, but that's just me!

Oh and helping with cramps - PUH-LEASE! Biggest lie if I ever heard one! Stupid thing ;D

Why do you call it a lie? When a girl has horrible HORRIBLE cramps, some birth control pills actually CAN and DO help with the cramping.