lol silly lady! :P

Thanks ^_^

Dear Limp Bizkit, you really didn't need to reunite, nobody missed you. Sincerely, the human race.

Hah

I'm not sure how to bold text in the forum... sucks for me lol. But this status came from my cousin's wife this morning.

"Just had a fight with my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up, I disagreed. Things got violent. Now the alarm clocks broken and Im wide awake. Not sure who won."

lmao thats a good one!!

Love it!

Best one I have seen:

"Mom asked me if I would jump off the Brooklyn Bridge with everyone else. I responded that perhaps they know something I don't."

Haha nice!

I'll have to think about this thread. It might be amusing...

wonders if, even when he's 40, he'll still revert to the mindset of a 6-year-old and want his momma to take care of him. Haha!

finals are like dementors (harry potter reference)....they suck your happiness away and steal your soul!!!

well its all good of course now but i still think he does love me still im over him though i mean he left me for a slut maybe he will come to his senses

In the Chic-Fil-A drive-through today I witnessed road rage. Car A pulled in line in front of car B. Car B took great exception to this and flashed the universal "you are #1" sign to car A. As car A makes the corner and stops in line, car B intentionally hit them in the bumper. Cant repeat the conversation from that point forward, but it was salty. Some people take their chicken seriously!!

got really sick overnight and just found a tick on my scalp...hope this isn't related

just finished 30 minutes of Core Rhythms: Secret to Sexy Abs. I am saddened to inform you that the secret does not involve a Snickers bar...

While you SCREAM at your woman, there's a
man wishing he could whisper softly in her ear. While you
HUMILIATE, OFFEND and INSULT her, there's a man flirting with her and
reminding her how wonderful she is. While you HURT your woman, there's
a man wishing he could make love to her. While you make your woman CRY
theres a man stealing smiles from her Post this on
your wall if you're against Domestic Violence.

[enter vague, attention getting status here]

And that is all the gems I can find right now. It may not have amused you...but it did me.

I realize that not all of these are amusing.

the chicken place one is funny!

I love the tick one. xD

i love the secret to sexy abs one :). hahaha.

LMAO!!! I LOVE the core one!

Glenn beck is a fugly douchey face.

i love tacos!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA HORSEY!!!!!!!!!! lol good day today ;D that little gem is unfortunately my sister. lol

Heartbreak makes writing songs easy... gotta love my emo kids. ;D

Means I'll acctually have to go to Montgomery, damn you haircut guy for bettering your career in a new location

Scanner out of Georgia - Dispatch: "Resident didn't answer the phone."
Cop: "You reckon that's because it's 1:00 in the morning and she's asleep?"
Dispatch: "The other dispatcher asked that. Apparently she was supposed to call back."
About 5 minutes later...
Cop: "I know you're not going to believe this but believe it or not, she was asleep."

apparently wednesdays are not very entertaining days for my friends.

the i like it on the dining room table is a mass inbox thing that went out.
The answers are to the question "where do you like to read"
i got awesome responses when mine said " i like it in the bath, on the train, at the dining room table, in the car, outside & in bed"

Really?? For us, the question was, "Where do you like to leave your handbag"

My friends have been getting awesome replies from guys, who think they are talking about something very different.

My favourite was a frape, but it went
"[name] would like to advise all my previous partners to go and get tested"

hahahahahahah. my favorite.

i dont do facebook... but on my myspace... this one girl is like totally obsessed with my best friend james. hes so nerdy and... geek. and shes so short, chubby, and weird. and she wears this TINY top hat. that is red and had lace. its so small. and she somehow attaches it to her head. but here's her status... right after james's::

Katelynn Roberts: Just for once can't one guy prove to us that just one guy isnt a COMPLETE AND TOTAL JERK?
mood:upset/pissed

pouty children irritate me. lol.

I have a friend who always posts really weird, inappropriate statuses. Here are a few:

SO IS IT WIERD THAT I THINK I JUST FOUND MY FIRST GIRLFRIEND ON HERE AND IM NOT MASTURBATING TO HER PHOTOS?..
I THINK I WOULD RATHER BREAK MY FIST INTO A THOUSAND SHARDS ON YOUR FACE THEN LISTEN TO WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY..
COME FIX MY COMPUTER.. I HAVE BEER AND HAND JOBS...
IS IT BAD THAT I WOULD RATHER SMASH MY DICK WITH A MEAT TENDERIZER THAN DEAL WITH WOMEN?...
LOOKING FOR FRONT SPOON... MUST HAVE OWN VAGINA... WHICH MAY OR MAY NOT BE NEEDED FOR SPOONING... YOUR CALL..
HOLY MORNING WOOD.... THE GOOD ONES ALWAYS GO TO WASTE...

Those are pretty inappropriate. I really hope their parents aren't "Friended."

Lol, he's like...28 now, I believe, so I don't think his parents would've really cared. :P