Smith & Wesson make a Bear Attack Survival Kit.



In the bright yellow lunch box you will find a gun that is suitable for firing at close range (note it's short barrel because a long barrel would be not much use if you are in a confined space... say your tent when you are camping). However, because Smith & Wesson know full well that if a bear attacks you in the night you probably won't have time to undo the clips on your yellow box and shoot the bear, in the kit you are also provided with other handy things. A saw, so you can amputate your chewed limb, emergency blankets, so that you don't get hypothermia or delay the onset of shock (not really sure what use a blanket will be to be honest), and a whistle and mirror so that you can signal and call for aid. In the forest. By yourself.

So, what other pointles and/or stupid things have you found for sale? I expect this will open a whole can o' worms...

Emergency blankets are for if the person were to go into shock. When someone goes into shock, you're supposed to keep them warm with blankets. The whistle and mirror are for in case you would have told someone where you were going (which would be smart) and they notice you've been gone long and send a search party to your area. But the mirror doesn't really help if it's dark out.

Hehe, sorry - I didn't word that very well. I know what the blankets are for, but since you were asleep in your tent at night when the bear attacked you presumably you already have a sleeping bag.

I hadn't even thought of how useless a mirror would be at night, but no-one would send a search party out then anyway since you are just off on a jolly camping trip. All likelihood by the time they realised you were missing you'd probably have bled to death. I think Smith & Wesson would've been better off providing first aid kits to go along with that saw... perhaps stuff to help clot your blood or something. Or perhaps the kit should come with an emergency beacon which starts transmitting when a bear roars next to it (like a lifejacket beacon when it comes into contact with water).

haha oh man I thought you genuinely didn't know!! :P Well I mean, generally sleeping bags are confined, but I guess you could zip the sleeping bag open and lay it on them, but if it's not warm enough, you have backup! :)

And I guess they just provided the extra little things as a precaution? I know when I used to be an army cadet (lol lame I know), they used to make us bring string, compasses, mirrors, blankets, lip gloss, crap like that. We didn't know what we were going to use them for at the time but they came in quite useful. You never know what use something has until you're stuck in the woods :P

Our little gas stove wouldn't work one day, and a higher up dude was like "Does anyone have any lipgloss?" I jumped to hand him it, and he TOTALLY fixed the stove!! Lol.

I think the mirror could be used at night in terms of reflection; if someone's searching for you and you have a mirror it'd reflect back and they could find you.

That's the only thing I can think of it being used for at night. XD

That's actually not really that pointless...I live in Alaska where that would come in really handy. And most of the time, unless the bear was already really ticked off, you WOULD have time to open up the pack. Not that a gun will always stop a bear, though.

I think the handiest thing for a bear attack would be a smoke bomb and lightning fast shoes ;D

Many of the items in there aren't just for bear attacks, but rather, general survival in the woods. You know, the fire-starting items and all.

I suppose though if I got attacked by a bear and was half eaten and in pain, I'd probably use the revolver on myself rather than try to fight off the bear.

I am in awe of the butter stick!!!

And you use spray on butter? You must be American!! You guys are genii when it comes to thinking up new [unnecessary] inventions! Although, apparently you aren't as creative as SE Asia!!

The stand that you put your kettle on so you don't even have to pour your own cuppa!
http://www.betterware.co.uk/productdetails.aspx?pid=035974&cid=175&language=en-GB

Well I suppose that is designed for people with arthritis or other problems where you have poor wrists; a full kettle can be damn heavy!

Gosh, I do love Betterware though. Our house is full of their pointless shit ;D

I love it too, and kleeneze!

Yeah, my mum has bad arthritis and got one of those. My Gran also had one.

I actually have one of those.... Damn carpel tunnel.
Mind you I never do use the kettle stand thing, lol.

Holy fucking lol

rofl i think this is seriously the funnies thing i've seen. I love you! LoL

LOL. I don't even know what this is but gosh, this is ace!

For real, they play infomercials for it all the time in the US: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwRISkyV_B8

HAHAHAHA. I just lol'd so hard.

I saw the ad for this like an hour ago. It was seriously one of the most annoying ad's I have seen in AGES...stupid shamwows.

Considering I live in Australia - usually the TV stations put "voice-overs" so that all the actors have Australian Accents that don't match up to the way their lips are moving - but this time - ALL american actors..All american accents...saying shamwow..OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN!

Hahahaha my husband wants a shamwow! He told me last night that we NEED to buy one

I love how they sell them at Wal-Mart

If you feel too lazy to churn the sugar in your tea or coffee, the self stirring mug is the perfect gadget for the day. The mug features a miniature battery operated propeller at the bottom and spins at 3,000 rpms at the touch of a button on the handle. So no more hassles of disposing stirrers or finding a place to keep the coffee dampened spoons. The mug claims to overcome the traditional challenge of mixing honey in water! The mug comes complete with a lid that will help you to keep your beverage hot enough and avoid spills. You can place the lid underneath the mugs base as an impromptu coaster. The mug is lightweight injection-molded plastic sheathed in a stainless steel exterior and requires two AA batteries.

I mean really.. are we that lazy now that we cant stir our coffe/tea on our own!?

Haha that's more cool than anything!