oh wow. i hope there aren't people who really agree to that. haha.

however, i know of two women who wanted a child, so one impregnated the other with a turkey baster and some 'donor sperm'. but i'm pretty sure most people opt for actual medical artificial insemination. haha.

Not really.
As long as both women don't have any medical issues then at home insemination is usually the route they take these days.
Thats the route we will be taking. No medical intervention unless it's absolutely needed.

wow! that's neat! i had no idea!

There's one thing I never really understood about "coming out"...
Why is it necessary to come out to anyone? I didn't come out and tell everyone that I like guys, so why is it necessary to tell people that you like the same gender (or both genders)?

I think that's a really valid viewpoint.
I think it stems from the fact that people are viewed as straight (generally, but not always) until "proven gay", or until they come out.
So, in order to "correct people" they reveal that they are not straight, as presumed.
I hope what I said came across the way I intended. I think it's a little convoluted.

Why does it matter if people think that a gay person is straight, though?
That's what I don't understand.

Well, in a perfect world it wouldn't matter, because we'd all be equal.
But it does. Because when people assume you're straight, they assume things about you.
And in letting people assume you're straight when you're not is, in essence, lying about a part of yourself. And thus, the "coming out" is allowing the person to be honest about themselves.

It doesn't matter as such, but a lot of conversation is centred around heterosexuality, because it's the default, and sexuality is a big part of people's lives. So, if you're not heterosexual, you can feel a bit excluded or awkward unless you are able to let people know. Heteros don't have to let anyone know because it's simply assumed. But if you're 'different', you kind of need to explain, at least to people you are reasonably close to, in order to prevent assumptions about the way you feel. It is very frustrating when people simply assume you are the same as them and treat you as such. And that goes for all kinds of things, not just sexuality. It creates barriers for people getting to know you, and for you being able to express yourself.

You explained it much better than I did!

Heh - well, I've had this conversation on other sites, where non-straight people have wanted to have a thread to 'come out', and straight people have taken offence and said that it shouldn't matter and that they don't care in the slightest whether people are straight or gay! So I did a post saying it doesn't matter if you're straight, but it does matter if you're not straight, because you are then the minority that everyone assumes is the majority. I don't think heteros realise how very hetero-dominated their conversations can be. And the gay pplz agreed with me.

I guess to use an example of a different sort of thing people can identify with - suppose you have a mental illness that people aren't aware of, and they assume you see the world in the same way as they do. You'd want to express who you are, and how things are different for you, so that people could understand. Or if you emigrate to another country where everyone shares a culture very different from yours, you might want to explain to them a bit about your own culture, so that they can get to know you. For the majority, the fact that they are not mentally ill, or that they are not a foreigner, has little importance to them, and they have no need to tell anyone, because it is an implicit shared identity - everyone already knows who they are and they have all kinds of shared understandings. But for the minority person, they have to actively explain who they are in order to be understood.

That's actually a great comparison - the mental illness and the foreign-ness.
It makes coming out sound much more about helping other people see where you're coming from and less about "pushing your gayness" onto other people (which some people seem to think it is).

Yes, yo - straight is the assumed default! So if you're anything other than straight, you kind of have to explain if you don't want people constantly saying things with the assumption that you're straight. Because it gets kind of tiresome, all that 'Oooh, look! Isn't he cute?' girly talk, assuming you'll agree and join in.

I think axexuality is even harder to 'come out' with than gayness though. Like, no one has heard of it and half the time they don't believe you, and so then you have to put up with the tiresome 'But, like, that's not normal, so it can't be true! You just think that because haven't met the right guy yet'. Gosh, yo - imagine if people said that to lesbians!

they do! ALL THE TIME!
it's amusing.

Almost everyone I know doesn't know I'm bisexual. I didn't see the need in telling them unless they asked, ya know?

Thats how I would view it... It's my business, I dont need everyone and their grandmothers' cat knowing.

Bi sexuality is easy to keep closeted when you're in a heterosexual relationship.
As soon as the words girlfriend, wife or my partners name leave my lips, or i use female pronouns where a heterosexual female would use male i am outing myself to them, whether it is intentional or not.

Very very true!!

Oh yea. I guess nobody really knows because I don't really seek relationships with women. I am just sexually attracted to them. ;D And have had sexual relations with both. I've never really had a "girlfriend" so it's really easy for people not to know or just assume that I'm heterosexual because I have been with a man for 4 years.

i was working the cash register at work yesterday, and this lady came up and she had dreadlocks and she was married. to a man. why would dreads imply lesbianism? why would people assume you're gay because of that?

i would imagine the "can i watch" question would get annoying. i don't understand! why would they assume that they have the right to watch you being intimate, but for heterosexuals it's private? that's so....... i don't even know the word for it other than stupid. do they just assume lesbians or exhibitionists?

Hahaha "Can I watch" makes me laugh, its like well would you ask if you can watch my husband and I have sex? Oh, you wouldnt? Why do you think watching my girlfriend and I are any different. A lot of people do not view homosexual relationships as valid, so they just think its something you do for fun. I know a lot of people who say "I will sleep with women, but not date them", I dont understand that point, but its basically viewed as a pure sexual relationship and not a valid one if that makes sense.

Awesome post! :)

Number 9 is what I never get. You hear a lot of guys say two lesbians are hot, but men are "gross." First of all, it's the same thing! Whether it be two women or two men, it's the same exact homosexuality. I personally don't care, I think people should be allowed to love and marry who ever they want. Who are we to tell a certain group what love is. Everyone is different.

all women have penis envy. It starts very young. here is mine, where is yours? oh, you don't have one. The psychological damage starts very young, and it's really deep - penis envy