I'm a female in my early 20s with what is becoming an extremely aggrivating tick or OCD habit that I cannot control for some reason. IT IS DRIVING ME ABSOLUTELY BONKERS!!! I am so embarassed by this, I hide it from my husband & from my family because it's that damn embarassing to me, & I don't think that seeing a doctor would help me because I have already done that (though I was much younger & they only gave me sleeping pills & antipsychotics that did nothing but make me sleep).

I have done things in the past that could possibly indicate an OCD or tick, but never like this.

Here are my symptoms:

OBSESSIVELY flaring my nostrils & sometimes blinking (like a retard, yes I know it sounds ridiculous) when I am feeling over whelmed, and when I am eating.

& exhaling until I can't breathe or until I feel light headed and a bit naseous (this one is really frusterating to me), especially when I am smoking (do not suggest that I quit smoking, I will do no such thing).

Also, I have been working on the same history book for almost 9 months now (it should have only taken me 3 days to a week to complete the assignments), however I am finding it damn near impossible to complete the entire book!!! I have tried 3x now, the 1st 2 times, I got through most of the book, almost finished it, started reading what I had written, and threw it in the trash BOTH times because I was not happy with the (close to) final results. EACH ANSWER TO EACH QUESTION/ASSIGNMENT WAS THE SAME FOR ALL 3 TRIES... I felt unhappy with my writing/penmanship & it bothered me so terribly that I couldn't bring myself to turn it in. I went through 3 notebooks, just to throw them aways!!!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

This may sound really stupid to all of you but to me, it's eating me alive. It's beginning to take a huge toll on me & it's causing me so much anxiety!! I'm afraid to talk to anyone else about this because I don't want them to think I'm weird or fucked in the head. This really bothers me tho!!! I'm going to break down & cry if I have to keep living like this!

Please help!!!!

If this only happens when you're stressed out, and it's actually a tick, rather than an obsessive compulsion, then this actually sounds like Tourette's, not OCD. You should probably go see another doctor.

Oh, apart from the blinking, which could be a tic.

Maybe the fact that you are trying very hard to conceal it from your husband and family and loved ones is making you feel more stressed, thus worsening your symptoms.

I think you should start off by telling someone who's close to you about it. Your husband may be a good start. I say this because, well, if he really loves you and cares about you then he is not going to judge you and throw it back in your face when you confide in him. He might be a bit confused and taken aback and think it's weird, but if he loves you then he'll get over it in time because, ultimately, he'll want you to get the help you need.

Also, I know thousands of people have mentioned the smoking, but it would be a really, really good idea to quit. Among all the other health issues that you're well-aware of, the nicotine may well be contributing to your tics and levels of stress because it increases the sympathetic tone of your nervous system (the system that drives the 'fight or flight' mechanism). I know it's very hard to quit, so it may not something you're looking to do at the moment. But it should definitely be on your list of long-term goals. And if/when you do quit, you'll notice all sorts of benefits and improvements to your fitness and physical well-being that you weren't even aware that you were missing.

Having prior bad experiences with doctors is unfortunate, but that doesn't mean that every doctor you see will cause you yet another negative experience. (Let me supplement this by saying that I am currently studying to be a doctor. xD I'm only at the beginning of my studies, but I already have a fair idea of what is good doctoring and what isn't, and I know that there are many good doctors out there, one of whom I aspire to be!) I think if you're desperate enough, you should see a doctor, and they can refer you on to a psychologist or psychiatrist, based on your symptoms.

I haven't experienced anything like what you're experiencing, but my gut feeling is that those who have experienced it will tell you to seek help from a doctor or other trained professional. I think it'd be the best thing. =)

Tics and OCD are two totally different things. It definitely doesn't sound like tics. I think it's unlikely to be OCD either (based just on what you've said), but see your doctor to be sure.

And the breathing thing could be related to your smoking, and you should stop. If you don't want to help yourself, then no-one else can help you.

What part of "do not suggest that I quit smoking, I will do no such thing" did I not make clear? "If you don't want to help yourself, then no-one else can help you. " What part of PLEASE HELP!!!" did you not read? Obviously I want help, otherwise I wouldn't be putting myself out there. DO NOT bash me or accuse me of not wanting help! This was hard to come out with, I do not need people like you making me feel worse!

Red, I did not mean to come across as being rude to you. This is a very sensitive subject for me, I do hope that you understand. When something interferes with one's life so much that it jeopradizes one's happiness & well being/mental state of health, it can become quite overwhelming & intensely difficult.

I would love to quit smoking. I have been to many funerals in the last few years due to smoking related deaths in my family. It is so sad! If you know of a way that has been successful for your patients (you are a doctor, right?), please don't hesitate to share your observations/ experiences. Smoking is a very hard habit to break. The older I am getting, the harder it is to quit smoking. I do not want to smoke, I feel that I have to smoke due to nicotine's evil claws of addiction. I am addicted, or hooked, or what ever you would like to call it. I would love to quit. I feel I have bigger problems to address first though.

That's really good to hear that you want to quit. =) I think solving one problem paves the way to solving others. There are several types of nicotine replacement therapies out there, or drugs you can take that will take the edge off the addiction and allow your brain a chance to say 'no'. Again, you should discuss these options with a doctor you feel comfortable with.

I replied to this privately, but beyond ordinary nicotine replacement therapy (which I've seen work in many people) I don't know very much about the different drugs available now to help people quit (as I am neither a GP or an addictions specialist). You should ask your doctor though. It is definitely worth stopping. And since you say it makes your problem worse, it is likely that stopping will at least help.

Rather than a doctor, you could consider seeing a behavioral psychologist. OCD and obsessive compulsive behaviors are not uncommon and can be managed, or resolved, through finding the cause for the behavior.

I am afraid that if I begin seeing a behavioral psychologist that my husband or my family will find out & they will see me as a crazy person. I am also a mother & that makes this much harder because I am afraid that either I get help & my family sees me as a crazy person or my child sees my tics & starts doing the same thing. God, this is all so overwhelming! Is there anyone here who has dealt with anything like what I am describing here, that is willing to openly talk about it? If you do not want to make your comments public, you can message me privately if you would feel more comfortable that way. I really am scared here, I want to cry and cry until I fall asleep so I won't have to deal with it anymore.

They won't think you're crazy. Or at least they shouldn't. And nor should you. Continuing this behavior to the point where it easily could be picked up by your children, or progress to worse behavior (ie; you'll develop more obsessive compulsions, it could lead to depression, etc.) would be worse than having to explain to them that you are doing something for your health. Mental health is as important to maintain as physical health. Recognizing that you can't resolve every physical problem yourself should in turn make it clear that you cannot resolve every mental problem yourself either. That doesn't make you weak or crazy. Everybody needs a little help sometimes.

I've never seen a doctor for it but I have a lot of unusual tics that I have had as long as I can remember. Like counting the blinkie things on the highway as I pass them. Or if I touch something wrong, I have to walk back & touch it again. If I'm wondering about something and it's a yes or no question then I believe if I see the letter "y" first then the answer is yes, if I see an "n" then it's no. When I smoke I have to count to 3 in my head before I blow my smoke out. There's a lot more than that, but that's just a few. I am a mom too, so I know how it feels to not want your little one to pick up on your bad habits. If you want to you can message me if you need someone to talk to about it.

Now that sounds like OCD (rather than tics). It would definitely be worth seeing a doctor, before it gets any worse.

But see it doesn't really bother me. Most of the things are silly and it doesn't disturb having a normal life. Now if it gets worse and starts affecting my everyday life then I will see a doctor.

Part of the treatment of OCD though may include drug treatments (although I have to say it doesn't sound like OCD to me), which a behavioral psychologist can't do. Cognitive behavioral therapy can be very helpful though.

I can control it if I focus on it, but it's so hard to do that because I'm seriously just overwhelmed with everything until I go to sleep. The breathing thing is not a health issue. I have been seen by docs.. the nostril flaring & the blinking & the extreme exhaling all go hand in hand. Maybe that is why I am having such a difficult time dealing with it/managing it?

You're more likely to get an answer from your doctors than on here. :P

And I stand by what I say, stopping smoking may help (seeing as you say it is worse when you're smoking). You don't know until you try, and if you really, really wanted to make it stop then you would do ANYTHING necessary, including stopping smoking. To refuse to stop and then demand others help you is just lazy. It's like someone asking a doctor for a gastric band because they can't be bothered dieting. :P

I don't like excess smoke in my lungs, I blow it out really good. Sometimes, that will trigger the extreme exhaling. COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT TO MY HEALTH.

Just out of curiosity, why are you so opposed to quitting smoking? Surely you know it's unhealthy (and isn't eliminating your risk for lung cancer more important than eliminating a nervous tic?) and will more than likely cut your life drastically short. So why wouldn't you WANT to quit? I get it can be difficult (I know this first hand), but being opposed to quitting seems a little silly.

You do extreme exhalation that causes light-headedness and nausea, you are going to be told to eliminate or drastically decrease the trigger. If smoking triggers it, it's only natural someone is going to suggest quitting smoking, ie, the trigger. And it is not completely irrelevant to your health. Smoking is HIGHLY relevant to your health.

No, I am not opposed to it however, I don't think it would be all that helpful (and I have quit hoping that it would help to end the extreme exhaling thing, & it did no such thing). Oh, & there are other things that trigger the excessive exhaling that have nothing to do with my smoking. I should have stated that before, sorry. The breathing thing started a few years ago, I don't know why exactly but I think it was after I had my son. The whole thing was very scary & over all traumatic & a 2 months after my son was born, I had to under go extensive oral surgery and complete reconstruction of my teeth (bad oral/dental genes suck), which was followed by an addiction to opiates (percocet pills), though I beat it after a year. I dont want to blame the addiction problem, because I don't think that is what caused it.

Smoking is bad, blah blah blah. I'm very aware of the harm it does. I am not stupid. That is not the point. The fact that I smoke is not the point, nor does it really have much to do with the over all problem, & by you saying "you know it's unhealthy, blah blah blah" it is not going to answer any of my questions or help me out in any way. Furthermore, if I have already stated that I am aware of how harmful smoking is, why on earth would I need you to explain it again? Let's not make this thread about my smoking habits, as it is not going to get me any closer to getting help for my tics, or whatever you want to call it.

And btw, any Doctor will tell you it doesn't matter how much you exhale the smoke out. There will ALWAYS be excess smoke in your lungs.

I know this.. my mother is a nurse. She has told me that time & time again.

Why are you refusing to see a doctor but all for begging for help on a website full of strangers, and then bitching about the help she's trying to give you? She IS a doctor.

Accept it or don't.