I love this website. Share some of the ones you like.

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

i think i prefer mylifeisaverage.com lately.

me too =)

I waste way too much of my time of mylifeisaverage.com! Love it.

I also like http://stfuparents.tumblr.com
and http://stfumarrieds.tumblr.com/
and my favorite http://stfu-twihards.tumblr.com/

Thank you for helping me waste my day! I enjoyed every minute ;-D lol

This is priceless:

A while back I was lying awake in my bed when I heard my roommate started mumbling in his sleep. His exact words were, "We could kill them all. That would solve everything." Wondering if he'd answer, I asked him, "Kill who?" To my great amusement, he answered, "The ninja hamsters." I really wish I could see what he was dreaming.

bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

this.
MLIA is wayyyyyyy better.

My favs are:

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight.

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt

Today, I wanted to take a nice hot relaxing bath. A wasp somehow got in, and stung me on the nuts

Today, I complained to my boyfriend that I was stressed out. He asked me then "What do you have to be stressed out about?" I work 50 hours a week and go to school full time. I ask him what was stressful about his day, he told me that his "kill/death ratio went down on Call of Duty"

i LOVE my life is average and textsfromlastnight.com

(301): i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
^ i literally just looked at that and laughed for 15 minutes.

Today I was listening to Miley Cyrus' "Party in the USA", and my sister was in the room. I mentioned that as much as I dislike Miley, the song is pretty catchy. My sisters' response? "You know what else is catchy? Herpes." touche little sister.

touche! hahahahaha

AHAHA. that asian kid one made me laugh. my sides are hurting.

lmao!!! omg that is fuckin hilarious!!!

try:
lamebook.com
regretsy.com

:)

oh, I love regretsy!

also http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/ is fun to kill time :)

www.ugliesttattoos.com

Seriously. I woke my husband up last night I was laughing so hard.

peopleofwalmart.com Seriously, the most amusing website.

omg. That is so frickin' hilarious!

I just started looking at that website last night, sooooooo funny!!

notalwaysright.com has a few gems. xD

www.givesmehope.com

This one is nice:) It's like fml only good stuff lol

i definitely prefer textsfromlastnight.com.


so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

and just going through sites, i found mystery google. i typed in "penis?" and the results were "how about yes."
internet is great.

"Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML"

my favourite of the day is from Mylife is average.

Today the power went off for a few hours. I dressed in black, transformed 11 glow sticks and laser pointer into a laser gun, and hummed Mission Impossible while darting around the house. Legitimate reason for staying up till 2? I think so. MLIA