If you had one sentence only to work with, and wanted to offend everyone within earshot on a level that makes them want to punch you in the face and then call the psyche ward or FBI, what would you say? I have to go wait in a sloooow-moving waiting room tomorrow, with my grandmother. The receptionist looks like friggin abby from ncis with shorter hair and makes me nervous and if my grandma embarrasses me I'd like to return the favor by about 637%, but I seem to be having the mental equivalent of a kidney stone. I haven't had a headache like this in months and my creativity is off because of it.

one that i heard in spain alot... 'I sh*t on the c*nt of the virgin mary'

tell her that you smoke LCD laced Weed...which you roll into a joint using the pages of the Holy Bible....

Your mother's a whore!

I took a shit and wiped my ass with the page containing John 3:16. And god STILL loves me more than he loves you.

Oh god, I just got chills typing that.

^ I vote for this one!

Lmao...that's awesome.

hahaha. i second that vote. this was pretty much the only good one in here...

*you are a motherfucker, tittie sucker, 2 ball bitch with a king size pussy and a rubber dick.*

you should sing it and smile.

That's not offensive. :(

"Ronald Reagan was a good president."

lol come on, people. Get those creative juices going. I mean something that will offend everyone regardless of race, religion, orientation, age, or gender. Something like "Coat hangers really bring out the kid in you" or something. Not necessarily about abortion. just that offensive.

bahahahahah. this one is hilarious, the coat hanger one.

You could always just shout "PENIS" at the top of your lungs (as far as the waiting room scenario).

I do have to say, though, that c*nt is one word that tends to offend most people.

I'm only good at being offensive when it applies to me directly and at that point in time. Apparently I wear my opinions of people right on my face. I once told a girl I'd punch her in the face if she touched my phone. She seemed surprised...I wasn't even being mean about it. Pfft

HAHAHA I tell my sister in law the same thing about my computer, the first time I said it she got really offended and scared. Its not working on her anymore, I need to come up with a new threat...or punch her in the face haha

Just have the threats get more grotesque.

I tell my brother I'll rip his throat out and frame it if he touches my things (My car/computer. :P)

Wow, you people have very little ability to be offensive.

If you really want to be offensive, say something like, "AIDS cures fags."