I'm looking more for personal opinions than advice, I guess, because I am not a man and therefore don't really know how you guys think and I kind of want to get an idea, I guess?

1.) Is it easier or harder to have a romantic relationship with a woman when you are friends first?
Does it depend on the situation? -- if you're friends and romantic feelings develop, or if you enter into a friendship with the intention of eventually having a romantic relationship.
I guess what I'm talking about an extended version of the "getting to know you" phase.

2.) As far as sex -- how long after 'dating' began would you expect to have sex (I'm talking any kind of sexual activity, anything below-the-belt)? What's the longest amount of time you would wait for a girl to have sex? Does this depend on whether the girl is a virgin or not?

If you need more clarification, let me know... and yeah, I just kind of want an idea of what to expect, I guess? I don't really know. I'm just curious.

1. Yes and no. Yes, because you're more comfortable being yourself, rather than having to try to impress someone. No, because it feels kind of weird. Since dating is a purely arbitrary "step" in a relationship, being in a relationship with someone doesn't necessarily feel any different than being in a regular friendship, and it gets weird. People start acting differently, doing things differently, etc. The only way a friendship turning into a romantic relationship would ever work is if you're a certain type of person, I suppose.

2. Depends on how attractive the couple is to each other. I know people who've been in a relationship for a year and have had sex a grand total of twice, while the same kind of people would be fucking like rabbits after the second or third date. Depends on personalities, attractiveness, and timing, among other things.

For #2 -- I've heard that most guys expect sex fairly early in the relationship - like a month or two? But again, I really don't know. And yeah, I guess it would depend on the people.

You're right. Most guys do, as that's the typically accepted time frame. But things can be different. Personally, I've gone anywhere from 4-7 months.

I guess basically what I'm trying to say is -- do whatever feels right. Don't do anything that is going to make you uncomfortable, no matter what you think you should be doing.

the problem I have is trying to find a compromise with what I feel comfortable with, and what is expected of me. Again, I have no idea what to expect. :-/

Don't go with what is "expected" of you.

If a dude expects you to have sex in ANY time period - he's trash. What if you were choosing to wait until marriage? He'd have to wait or gtfo. Don't compromise anything when it comes to sex. Holding out proves you have morals and respect yourself.

^^^win. There's no how-to book on dating or sex, when it feels right and you're sure about it, that's when it's time. Not when he SAYS so.

It's not that I am focused only on pleasing a guy or bowing to his needs while ignoring my own.
It's just that I KNOW that my expectations are unrealistic by the standards of about 98% of men. I want to have an idea of what men my age want from a standard relationship so I have a baseline to work with.

What are your expectations?

I honestly could probably go forever without sex. I don't hate the idea of it, but I certainly don't really need it.

Do you not feel any desire for it? Is it like, say, chocolate, where you don't literally need it, but you'd quite fancy some? Or is it like spinach, which you might not hate, but you have no real desire for, and you could easily go your whole life without it?

Lol I love your new icon.

In response -- I think at this point it's more like spinach, I would say. I really have no desire for sex with another person (or with myself, I suppose). Cuddling, kissing, and hand-holding are fine, though.

You say 'at this point', so I'm guessing you're assuming that at some point in the future you will develop a desire for sex? This may be the case, but have you thought about the possibility that you may not? And in this case, would you be willing to have sex anyway, regularly, for the sake of a relationship? Or would you instead pursue a non-sexual romantic relationship? You don't have to answer those questions here - they are quite private questions. They are more for you to ask yourself, when considering what you're willing to give to a relationship and what you expect. Some people don't get sexual desires (more people than you'd imagine, actually), and if they want a relationship, they choose between those two options.

What I really meant was that I used to be interested in the idea of sex, but I don't have that desire at all anymore. I mean, I could put up with it because I feel like that's something that would be expected of me. It would kind of be a lot to hope for that I would find someone who matches my interests (at least somewhat), is actually interested in me, lives nearby AND would be willing to have the exact same kind of relationship I want.

Again, like I'm trying to put feelers out and see what the deal is before I start jumping into the dating pool.

There are quite a few guys that don't expect or want sex. My husband is one of them, unfortunatly for me. But just like you would want a guy to be okay with not having sex regularly, he is the same way and I respect that.

Maybe you should just be open about it early on in the relationship. Someone who really likes you and respects you will be okay with having sex less.

Or you could tell them you're saving yourself for marriage and then never get married. ;D

Yeah, I'd be worried about alienating a lot of guys... the pool of men potentially interested in me is small enough that I worry by not wanting to have sex I'd be limiting myself to like, one or two guys. Yeah I dunno.
I mean, I'm sure that I could put up with having sex. It doesn't repulse me, but I have no interest really.

BTW, I love how your topic is 'dating questions for men' and the majority of posts here are by females! ;D

we need a "like" system for comments! lol best advice in the world right there

1) It's always easier to have a relationship with someone you're friends with first. You're not in that "trying to impress" stage that happens early on. The girl knows you, your likes, your quirks, whatever. Normally it takes about a year and a half for a couple to "really know eachother," whatever that means. If you're long-time friends, you already are past that stage. There's less bullshit. There's less surprises. You know what to expect, you know how things will go. Your personalities aren't the "early stage dating" facade that people put out there. Your guard is down.

2) I'd say, I usually expect to have sex mid-sentence while asking them out. I've never asked out a girl I didn't expect to have sex with at some point. As for when... it just happens when the time is right, when the mood is right, when she's drunk enough [kidding! (mostly)], whatever. I dated a girl that wanted to wait for marriage, and we didn't have sex... we had other relations, but not sex-sex. I was willing to wait until marriage to vulcanize the whoopie stick in the ham wallet. Virgin or not, both people have to be into it for sex to work. You can't hump sandpaper. So I was always willing to wait... rarely was it longer than a few dates.

I definitely agree with holyemoly. If someone really likes you & respects you, they'll make those sacrifices.