The Chav Wedding of the Year

I would like to share with you one of the worst experiences of my life. As you
know, I don’t like weddings, and usually with good reason. There now follows
the reason why I don’t like weddings.
I was asked to play the organ at this wedding at the weekend, and these are
the results.
Good Lord.

So here you will see the motley collection of Groom, Best Man and other
assorted males. The one sporting the red shirt and trainers is the Groom.

I think some confusion must have ensued as to what the dress code actually
was. Some red ties, some black, and one with no tie whatsoever.

I also thought the choice of location for the photographs was also quite
astonishing. Opposite the church was a row of garages, and it appeared to be
the most suitable backdrop, presumably to prevent any upstaging of the men
here pictured.

And so, as if couldn’t get any worse, the bride arrived…

Not everyone can pull off such a vibrant red, but here I think they mange it
quite well.

Now in my experience there is usually a bride, a couple of thin bridesmaids
and one great wopping one on the end. But in this case the fat bridesmaid has
become the bride.

Alarm bells, should, incidentally, be ringing around now. If they aren’t they will
be soon.

Deciding that the backdrop may actually improve the picture, the happy
couple strolled into an adjoining field for this wonderful picture.

It was noted during the exposure of this wonderfully composed image that the
groom’s head was roughly the same size as her left breast, and probably
contained a similar sort of substance.

Mentally disabled is probably the term best used here. Or fat pig and ugly little
weasel. I’m sure they have the same effect.

“Here, let me help you up…”

I think this proves to us all that there is someone out there for all of us.
Let’s just hope they don’t breed.

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