The following article is attributed to the London Times, but as far as I am aware no such newspaper exists, and The Times (British national newspaper) has no records of the article. Whoever wrote it, it's a great article!


Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair;
and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are incharge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;
teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch;
and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap,and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death,
by his parents, Truth and Trust
his wife, Discretion
his daughter, Responsibility
his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 step brothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.

OMG I LOVE THIS!

It's so sadly true as well. In my nursery, we can't give out plasters, because they may have allergies to them. Also can't give Calpol in case they have already had some and overdose *roll eyes* What happened to just asking the parents?

We also need permission slips to put sun lotion on them. It's pathetic, but what can we expect in a country that has become obsessed with blame? The nursery is only covering its back.

Where did you find this? I read something similar, years ago, which was also full of awesome.

I was just blog hopping on blogspot and I came across it. Like I said, I can't actually find the original source.

Umm, while I totally agree with the whole lack of common sense state we live in, I am allergic to plasters and it itches worse than insect bites when I react to them so I can kinda understand why you can't give out plasters to young children who might not know if they are allergic. But even at secondary school and university we couldn't get a plaster from the first aid kits, which to me just seems ridiculous. If you don't know you are allergic then (or you do but don't care - afterall, sometimes the cut over-rides the allergic reaction you are going to have!), that really isn't the school's fault!

Wow I didn't know you actually could be allergic to them! Haha crazy. But, we ask the parents for info on food allergies so why they can't just tick a box that says 'yes, my child is allergic to plasters' I don't know. Then we could give them out to the kids who need them, as small cuts on their fingers are very common, normally because they have been gnawing at them haha.

Of course you can be allergic to plasters! That's why they make those hypoallergenic plasters, but i'm allergic to them too. haha. I'm actually allergic to rubber, but there is something in the glue they use on plasters that I react to.

I'm going to assume plasters = band aids? If so, I'm allergic to latex, therefore am allergic to most band aids. I have to buy the latex-free ones!

I'm allergic to the adhesive on the bandaids so i can't use any of them it sucks lol

god this is old lol.

Yeah, it really is. I was actually about to comment on that -- I think this was written in the 60's.

unfortunate that it still applies :-/

People are idiots, and they've always been idiots. The difference these days is that people are rewarded for stupidity (i.e. lawsuits), whereas in the 50's, if you were a dumbass, you got what was coming to you.

i don't know who originally said it, but taking the safety labels off things really would help curb the infestation of morons ;D

"Warning: Do not operate hair dryer in bathtub." (... but I'm trying to save time by shampooing and drying at the same time!)

"Warning: Do not sit or stand on oven door." (... but I really need a step ladder to reach those high-up knives.)

"Warning: Coffee May Be Hot." (Aww, I was under the impression that the steaming liquid coming from that giant burning hot marchine would be lukewarm at most.)

True, BUT the saddest part is, the safety labels are on things becuase some has actually DONE what it says not to do.. like on strollers it says "remove child before folding" which means someone actually tried to fold it with their child in it

i know why safety labels are on things, because people are idiots. if we removed them, there'd be less of them. which was my point.

wouldn't mind knowing why a mattress had "do not attempt to consume" written on it though. i mean you'd have to be pretty high to try an eat a mattress.

The Darwin Awards ;D

i love the darwin awards ;D amusingly most aussies on it remove themselves from the gene pool without actually dying. genitals + farm machinery = uh oh.

well it obviously wasn't written in the 60's, since a lot of what it said applies to recent years. But anyway, that's great!
And what are plasters?!

Little sticky bandages, some are tiny that you put over holes from needles.

BAND-AIDS, YO!

Plasters are band aids! Sorry, we that's what we call them in Britain!

Ahh, I see Estella beat me to that!

I'VE SEEN VARIOUS VERSIONS OF THIS IN THE PAST, YO! IT SEEMS MR SENSE HAS BEEN DEAD FOR SOME TIME! ;D I SOMETIMES WONDER WHETHER HE EVER REALLY LIVED, OR WHETHER HE IS PURE MYTHOLOGY!

He never resided on Bloop-yo! His Brother NON thrives here though.