If you don't know what TFLN is, click!
If you do, what are some of your favorites?! :]]]]

Here's an example that I just read, which made me laugh out loud:

(574): some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
(1-574): class
(574): he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson

Dude. I am so friggin' addicted to that site. I can sit on the couch for HOURS reading that one and fmylife.com

Haha!
Me too! I think the farthest I got up to in one night was, like, page 153.

I hate that fmylife's pages don't load, though. Freaking annoying.

me too!

This one is great:

(347): in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him

LMAO

I actually made the site because I can't read cursive when drunk.... My current favourite is (402): What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.

It's pretty much the best site ever.

(630): why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?

(785): Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours

(859): While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight

(651): So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.

lmao i never saw that site before!!! some of my faves so far:

(281): had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.

(516): onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
(443): he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?

(480): my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion

(602): Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.

haha. so i've never heard of this site until right now &i am LOVING it.

some of my faves are:

(305): If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining

(415): I'll probably hate you when I'm sober [because i believe i've sent that one. lol.]

(703): I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
(1-703): I see a marketing opportunity
(
919): i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"

(708): We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.

(203): she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
(860): what did you do?
(203): i asked her out. that's so hot.

(303): God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
(720): And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.

(334): I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves. [that's my area code...lol]

(901): oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
(901): fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings

(402): What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.

(717): this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.

(404): Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
(770): Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you

(403): She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.

(785): Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.

(334): I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
(205): Win!

(334): Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies. [ok, i SO want to know who from around here sent this, because this is fucking brilliant. lmao.]

(205): woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
(1-205): yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....

(717): How was your Memorial Day?
(1-717): Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.

(302): Who goes to Church hungover
(717): Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk

(717): You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.

(407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

(909): I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him

(847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

(215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

(321): Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.

(570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
(1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911

(201): I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
(908): I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
(201): Tie

(410): can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
(443): wasted?
(410): im pocohantasssss [okay, ive totally sent like, a million of these disney style texts. haha.]

(281): How do you jack off and text at the same time?
(1-281): On my iPhone they have an app for that

(410): so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero


(434): why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
(540): you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.

(330): First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down BRILLIANT.

(857): seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.

(734): I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.

(971): I have two black x marks on my hands.
(503): Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
(971): damnit I wish I could remember that.

(850): Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
(850): I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife

(954): you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now

(970): I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.

(919): The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.

(905): so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.

(850): Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos. [this actually has me crying. lol.]

The Disneyworld one had me DYING!
Best. Site. EVAR! (Apart from Bloop, of course ;])

i think the last harry potter one may be my fave.

or the 205 area code about the real estate thing, cause that's totally b-ham, yo. haha.

or no no...the accidental ginger babies one. by far, the most brilliant thing ever.

LMAO. I didn't even see the 205 one. I must have skipped over it.
I may not want to live there, but Alabama does have it's appealing sides to it..Ha.

what appealing sides could alabama possibly have?

other than me. ;D

oh &nikky. haha.

Haha. Other than you guys?
Absolutely hilarious drunk moments such as that one.

But then again, doesn't every state have those? Oh. Utah. >.>

lmao.

well, i do have quite a few absolutely hilarious drunk moments.
my last entry is a fine example.
hahaha.

(612): I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!

(978): We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.

(412): as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms

(703): we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'

(512): just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.

tfln is about the greatest site ever... one of my favorites... and yet i haven't been to it oin like a month. i fail.

*in

fail again.

this site and fuck my life are the best things evar.

(303): maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."

win.

agreed i favorited it and told all my friends

(213) Whats up
(424): Asleep
(213): Miss you... Wondering how you are..
(424): ASLEEP
(213): Just wanted to say hi, see how school's going
(424): Hi, awesome, now fuck off

i totally relate to 424 here. lol.

;D