Hello, my name is Freddie Fugly. I'm 2 feet 13 inches tall. I'm vertically challenged. I can't remember too much of my past life because I was very young when I was born. I was told that when God created me He was upset, so He went and found the mold maker, broke the mold, and shot him.... repeatedly.
My mommy told me that when I was born, the doctor slapped her instead of me. My mommy was very protective of me, and was only out for my well-being. She did come home now and then. She wanted me to have friends, so she put a pork chop around my neck so the dogs would play with me.
When I started school, I also had a job. Because I had acne real bad, I put lip stick on my face and was a display for Pizza Hut. I went to Italy for college; they loved me there. My alma mater's name was Whatsa' Matta U.? My first job was picking fly shit out of black pepper. I didn't last long there because I kept throwing away the pepper. My next job was at the city dump. I got a dollar an hour and all that I could eat. I gained weight there. It helped my acne. I don't have the deep pock marks anymore... they're all warts! I remember my senior prom. That was the day I lost my virginity... my hand was really sore. I came across my first love when I was 21, but the farmer kicked me out of the sheep field.
I figured I would put my story on Bloop because it rhymes with my favorite occupation... poop. So I am going to give you the poop about me. Stay tuned for a new entry.
Love anyone that can bend over,
Freddie Fugly |
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Welcome to Bloop... I think. 
