Freddie Fugly's Future Fades

01/15/2009

After I was recycled from the landfill, ( a nicer way to say dump) I got a job at the M&M's factory but, that didn't last to long.... they fired me for throwing away the W's . I then tried my hand at having my own business. I had a lawn chair business until that folded, but I had an air mattress company to fall back on. After that deflated I figured I would sell Bar-be-que Beans. That didn't turn out so well... the beans kept falling through the grill. Beans have never been good to me. My ancesterial heritage makes me a German-Jew, so every time I ate beans I would gas myself. I gave up on trying to get a job and decided to become an inventor. I invented the clear garbage bags for poor people to window shop. I also invented the tuna and jelly sandwich. I was then bitten by the love bug ...it left a hole the size of my head. She was purty and smart. She had blond hair and graduated the third grade. I accidently got her pregnant and when the doctor told her, she wanted to make sure it was hers so I wouldn't get mad. I came home one day and she was crying real hard. I asked her what was wrong and she said her mother had died. I told her I was going to make arrangments to go there, when I got back she was crying harder. I asked her why and she said her sister called and her mother died too.