still trying

i havent found a job yet and i'm going crazy at home some of my roomies just drive me crazy but i know i need to finish this through and follow through on something in my life. I really want out of Kansas but it has also grown on me. I don't really get much money a week which annoys the heck out of me. I just want to be back in the living in the real world even though being in a group home and a low staffed one lets me have a lot of freedom its still not the same freedom as living in my own place. The guy I dated in college yes he's married but we talk a lot he really wants me to come back to NY and he and I. I don't know whats going on with us  but i am the keeper of his secrets and that has brought us back together in amazing ways but i don't know i feel like he might be having an emotional affair with me and i don't want to be that girl i don't want to be that one but he has always been the one that got away i don't believe in monogamy but i do believe that everyone involved needs to be aware of it and i'm pretty sure he hasn't told his wife about me and i know she doesn't know his secrets i'm the only person in his real world life that would understand who he really is and what he really is.

idk i guess i need to make a choice of to follow my lord and savior and not be involved in a married guy and not to go into both of ours dark places and to be true to who i am inside and follow my want to be there for someone that i love.

Credit: Sx3.Layouts