I'm trying not to freak out. It won't do me any good. Still can't find a job... applying to probably around 10 more places tonight after I finish this update. I need to not have to borrow money from my mother this month to pay my bills. Just for the sake of my own sanity, I need to get a job and get the hell out of this house. My dad is making me nuts lately.
He gets on me about not having a job. He's been out of work since before Elora was born.
I told him about a couple of bar tending jobs that I saw online. Does he look into them? Nope.
He knows how to use the computer... okay that's a lie. But my mom would help him lol
Pretty sure if I had a job he'd be complaining about watching Elora. He used to when I worked before. I try and keep up with her cleaning wise, and if she by some miracle decides to take a nap, I can handle any major messes. Or the dishes/most of the kitchen. I'm trying.
He doesn't seem to notice that.
My mom does though. I still hear about it if I can't get caught up and the living room needs swept or there's dishes in the sink. But it doesn't seem to make me feel as bad as it used to. I think she's realized how much it hurts when all she points out are negative things.
I'm a little frustrated with a friend. I lent her $100 (she owed her roommate for rent) back when I had a little spare from my tax refund (and was working two jobs) and she still hasn't paid me back. She's gone on about how stressed out she is about money, and her brother's friend ditching them with the house they were renting. I can understand that. Right now she's especially stressed because her brother lost his DL due to some health issues so she had to drive him everywhere. But I think that's been sorted... who knows. Here's what really gets my goat. She also posts pictures on facebook of her out at the bar every other night. She just took a pottery class with a few other mutual friends. And she just posted a status about going to see a scary movie tonight.
She can afford to shell out however much for that... and okay so guys are probably buying her drinks. But you know what? $20 a week probably wouldn't kill her every so often.
I hate that I got taken advantage of. Cause this is also the girl who couldn't find the time to take me out for my fricking 30th birthday. I've known her for something like 13 years. She knows how big of a deal my birthday is to me. How rarely I get to go out. And normally what we do is go out with another friend for a birthday dinner. The other two split the cost of the birthday girl's dinner. But she just can't seem to find the time to go out for my birthday. I'm just gonna mope bout that for a while. It's not productive but fuck if I care today.
I started talking to my brother about plans for the upstairs of our house recently. Baby Brother came home around my birthday ( I think I mentioned that... I can't remember) and he just found an apartment with a couple of friends that will let him have the ferrets. Anyway, after he finishes the bathroom downstairs ( a project that is constantly being held up by my dad thinking he knows more than he does about home improvement) he's going to be fixing the issues upstairs so that Elora and I can live up there. The main problem is that it needs a new ceiling, insulation, and there are some major holes in the walls. So he pretty much has to drywall the whole thing. He looked at me like I was a bitch when I said I didn't want to live up there until the drywall was done. I asked if it would be easier to do it all at once, and he said he thought he'd need about four days and at least one friend to help. He knows Lucias will help (especially if you pay him at least partially in beer). He was thinking of us living up there, and him fixing one section at a time though. I can understand that as far as taking up his time goes. But I don't want to be up there until I can afford a fold out sofa for my bed. And a day bed type thing to get Elora in.
Which won't be until January at least (depending on when I get a job) so it's not like he doesn't have time. I also need to get my room sorted out and clean. I can do that gradually. It's much easier when I'm not trying to keep Elora from climbing up my ladder (and also falling and getting hurt) or from getting into the bags/boxes of stuff that I'm trying to clean up. The last time she tried to help me she found a box of her keep sake clothes and tried to put her favorite onesie on. There was as melt down of epic proportions when it didn't fit. I try and hide those boxes away when we're in there now lol
I also want to buy latex free paint so my friend Berta can come help me paint when it's already up there. I think my brothers, Berta, and myself could knock that out in a weekend.
I want to move in up there when it's a real home is the idea. Apparently that makes me a brat.
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