first off, thank you to everyone for the kind words, the sympathy, the support following the death of my grandmother.
gramma and i were not what you'd call close. but she was blood, and without her there'd be no me. i'm not sure if it was our slightly distanced relationship, the fact that i'm older, or that she was older [dying at 87 is hardly what i call life being cut short], or that i work in healthcare, and have developed a bit of an ability to distance myself when it comes to death, but this just didn't hit me like other deaths have. i wasn't so much sad that she was gone, as upset that other people were upset. seeing a grown man cry always does me in, so when my uncle jim, my dad, my brother, some cousins were in tears, i shed a few as well.
the funeral service was a full mass, the first catholic mass i've been to since... likely the last funeral i attended - 8 years ago? it's been a long time. it's amazing how ingrained those catholic rites are. i found myself responding and praying aloud without even realising i was doing it. like religious muscle memory.
the graveside service was a little rough. all the grandkids placed a flower on the casket, then we watched it lower into the ground. if ever there was a time for tears, that was it.
after the gradeside, we went to a reception lunch back at the church. we were all starving, and ate our faces off. afterward we headed out to my uncle and aunt's farm, which is the family homestead. that's where the day got fun. we drank beer, told stories, caught up, and talked about future plans. after a while we took a walk out to the back fields. my uncle doesn't farm them, they're rented out, but we're welcome to go back and wander around. us cousins have a lot of memories back there, of snowmobiling and fishing. we climbed some hay bales for pictures, then decided to roll them around, to see how far and how fast they can go. at 28, i'm one of the younger cousins, so picture 30 and nearly-40 year old men racing 5' hay bales down a little slope. the farm cousins showing their city wives how to climb on top. laughing, telling stories and pointing out where things happened - 10, 20, 30 years ago. that's what family's about. that's what i love. |
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