DeVisualise Add Fave Search
Not Logged In
0
Your Username:
Your Password:

[ sign up | recover ]

RegularGuy's Diary
by RegularGuy

Turning Point. or whatever.

09/20/2009

My wife wants to leave me. We've been together for two years, married for one. She says she's bored and tired of being tied down, she thinks. She wants some time to think about it, to separate before she makes any decisions so she can have space to think. I'm not sure what to do. Or how to handle it. Which I'm not used to - because I typically know exactly what I'm gonna do next and am very comfortable with my choices and actions. But this isn't anything I ever expected, and I don't know what to do. I'm lost. I'm confused. I'm upset. I downright want to just sit and cry..and I'm not supposed to want to do that because I'm a guy, and I'm supposed to be separate enough from my emotions to not let them cloud my judgement..but I just don't know.

I caught her fixing to cheat on me with someone and called her on it. So she said she needs time. It sounds to me like she's already made up her mind..and I don't wanna keep putting hope into something that won't come of any good. Should I just break it off out right? I guess more info would be needed to make an educated decision...

We have a son, 7 months old. She is 17, so she may be prone to 17-year-old hormones (regarding not wanting to be tied down). I don't know if I'm supposed to help her through her indecisiveness, or just let her go. Btw, I'm 22. She'll be 18 in January, and I've gotten the "She's 4 years younger than you" spill before. So, please leave our age difference out of it. Any ideas or advice?

0 likes, 11 comments

[ | add comment ]

Add Comment

Add Comment

Please enter the following WHITE digits in the box below.
Confirmation Code

i think the age difference is less of an issue than her age in general. i can't imagine being married at 17. it's unfortunate, but i'm not at all suprised that she wants to do her own thing.

[girlsetsfireStar|0 likes] [|reply]

If you want honest feedback, be prepared for people to bring up the ages...it's just going to happen because it makes a difference.

I'm sorry that you're going through such a rough time you sound miserable. It's okay to cry. Try a shower, it's easier to hide the tears.

Unfortunately, this seems to be a situation where she jumped in way before she was ready. While women mature faster than men, we're still learning about ourselves at 15 (when you two got together, based on the ages). It's -normal- for people that age to be flighty, to want to be out with friends or finishing school or looking at higher education or experimenting with exactly what kind of men would make us happy. Developing our "taste" or "type" of ideal man.

While I'm sure this is devastating to you, just remember that you're young too. Very young. And breaking up may give you the chance to figure out what you want too. Go back and look at what made you want to get married. Why did you 'take the plunge" so to speak. Why did she? Was it a shotgun wedding (so to speak?) Your son is 7 months, 9 months gestation = 16 months and you've been married for 12.

It's possible it was too soon for you too.

Speaking from experience, don't let your son be the only reason you two stay together. Use the trial separation to explore your own feelings/wants/needs as well. If you still want to save your marriage, I would recommend seeking out the assistance of an experienced marriage counselor either though a professional or through your church.

Either way, I hope you find some peace.

[Hidden DepthsStar|0 likes] [|reply]

im so sorry about your prob.

[TUTi←™Star|0 likes] [|reply]

I agree with Hidden Depths. This is a situation where she, and possibly you were not ready and jumped into this.

[NurikoStar|0 likes] [|reply]

Welcome to bloop. I hope that everything eventually works out for you...

[hoitdadkeun|0 likes] [|reply]

Pagan tag

I agree with the first commenter...at 17 she is very young and maybe feels she is 'wasting' her teenage years. Is she watching all her friends party and enjoy freedom while she can not?

Go have a cry,,,find somewhere remote and scream at the sky if you have to then go home and be very calm.

And dont think staying together for the kids is a good idea. Its a terrible one and one you will regret with time if thats what you end up doing.

And do you want to be married to a cheater?

Hope things clear up for you.

[Lady PaganStar|0 likes] [|reply]

Ages does not matter in relationships. Maybe yeah...because shes only 17 and your 22 your both still very young anyway, so maybe you both jumped into the commitment a bit too soon. But then u have to think of your 7 month old son aswell. He is the most important in this situation. =D good luck with it all sweet x

[Vloof|0 likes] [|reply]

she's most likely not mature enough to have everything thats been thrown into her life. a child and marriage is not something that most 17 year olds can deal with without throwing their own version of a pity party.

[..toxique..Star|0 likes] [|reply]

I think the age difference is less of a problem than her youthful age. I couldn't imagine being married with a child at seventeen, but that is her reality. I would suggest that you sit down and talk to her about everything. This is not only your and her future, but its also your sons future, which should be most important. Good luck!

[xo heatherStar|0 likes] [|reply]

welcome

[eringetic™Star|0 likes] [|reply]

welcome

[eternalblack|0 likes] [|reply]

[ add comment ]

Online Friends
Offline Friends