Well, if I had a fireplace I'd be cuddling in front of it. It's a whopping 18 degrees outside with a wind chill of five. Just a tad bit nippy, but it's still a beautiful, sunshine day.
I had to run out to the store and pick up birthday cards for Mom and some tissue paper and a gift bag for her present. Total cost, $17.02, which is about $14.52 more than what her actual gift cost me. Yep, $2.50. I found three mini ceramic vases at Target when my sister and I went shopping before Halloween and the vases say, "Live, Love, Laugh," which is one of Mom's favorite sayings. Perfect. It just kills me that the incidentals cost more than the gift. I'm not cheap, but when I find a bargain, I jump on it.
Anyway, I just wore a sweater with a lightweight mock turtleneck beneath it and my vest jacket and I was comfortable - until I had to walk in the wind from the parking lot. Then my eyes teared from the cold. Yes, winter is definitely upon us here in Chicagoland.
I don't really have a lot to write about today because I didn't do jack yesterday. I slept off and on throughout the day while I nursed my aching head, but the good news is that I feel MUCH better today.
I got up very early this morning, somewhere around 6:30 or 7:00am, but I didn't have enough sleep. My eyes just wouldn't focus. So after eating a yogurt, I laid down on the couch and went back to sleep until 10:00am. I guess I really need the sleep right now. Did my Facebook games after that because I could actually SEE the computer screen, and spent some time reading, which I'll get back to in a minute. Al got up around 11:00am because they changed his start time this week to 3:00pm. Had some coffee and a couple of rice cakes with peanut butter and jelly for breakfast, and then I talked to Al about whether or not he wanted to go pick out the card for Mom's birthday. He told me he'd rather I did it, so I got into the shower and got dressed to go out and run that errand while he finished his coffee and got his shower to ready himself for work.
So yeah, went out and did that this morning. I bought two cards for Mom, as I always do. One is from both of us, and one is just from me. That's kind of our tradition. On birthdays and holidays, I get two cards from her - one from her and Dad and one just from her, and I do the same with her. It's a nice little thing we do, I think, but this card I found for her was perfect. It talks about how even though I'm grown, in my heart I'll always be the little girl who still needs her Mom. I think all of us feel that way about our mothers as we get older. They drive us insane sometimes, and sometimes we even get pissed at them for interfering, but deep down, we always want Mom. I want her to know that it's true for me now and always. I can't imagine my life without her, even though I know one day I will have to do just that. But even that won't stop me from wanting and needing Mom.
Wow. I am weepy today. That thought just brought tears to my eyes.
Anyway, back to the book I was reading this morning. It's not really a self-help book because I'm not too big on those, but it's more a book of spiritual discovery. It's called The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. I've had the book and journal and meditation book on it for a while now, and although I've started it several times, I've never really had the gumption to finish it or work through it the way it's meant to be done. To be honest, the book strongly suggests you get a partner to work through it with you because another person gives you strength to overcome and work through things you probably wouldn't be able to do on your own. Makes sense, but I really don't have anyone to do the program with me, so I figured I'd go it alone, with God as my partner, and maybe talk about it here.
I know some of you are Christian, so some of what I'll discuss may resonate with you, and for those of you who aren't Christian, bear with me. You all know that my spirituality is something very important to me and something I take very seriously, and yet, even my unbelieving friends respect that in me and respect my beliefs, even if we don't agree. I appreciate that more than you know.
The book is meant to be worked through over a 40-day period, one chapter each day. It's really about finding God's purpose for your life, and not the purpose you think your life should be. The book gives biblical quotes throughout, and points to ponder, as well as questions to consider at the end of each chapter.
It's funny, but one of my favorite quotes already from the first chapter, comes from an atheist, Bertrand Russell. "Unless you assume a God, the question of life's purpose is meaningless." That really hit home for me.
The point to ponder for today is that "It's not about me." Easy enough to remember, but also very true. If I was made by God, by his purpose and for his purpose, then it's really NOT about me. It's about God. It all starts and ends with God.
The biblical memorization verse is Colossians 1:16 - Everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him. I've never been big on memorizing bible verses, mostly because I hate it when people quote the bible at me like they have some sort of truth that I don't, just because I didn't sit and memorize verses as a kid. Memorizing verses doesn't make you anymore a Christian than having a roof overhead makes my carport a garage. But, for the sake of doing this program, I will attempt to memorize verses, but my memory is pretty faulty that way.
The question to consider today is "In spite of all the advertising around me, how can I remind myself that life is really about living for God, not myself?"
I know that God does not promise me happiness in this world, in this life. When I get a happy, I know it comes from God, who allows, NOT CAUSES, both the good and the bad things that happen, and I'm thankful for those happy moments. It's true that everything around us says "You deserve this," and that simply isn't so. We only deserve what God wills and what our choices bring our way. I'm not sure I know exactly how I can remind myself that life is about living for God.
Certainly praying more will remind me of that, because I know that I don't pray enough. I try, throughout the day, to let the thought of God consciously slip into my thoughts and sort of guide me in what I do, but I don't always listen to that guide. I try, but I fail, and then I try again. Short of that, I don't know how to remind myself.
Any thoughts or observations?
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